trompe l'oeil: short commentary and a few questions

[sodakey]

I utilize a lot of allusions when I write.  Even in my so-called real life writing I do this, and Trompe L’oeil is no exception.  Allusions are a quick, often effective way to invoke an image or emotion in a reader’s mind without losing the tone or having to spread explanations over several paragraphs.  But, it’s a risk...

Comments

[qultng1]

I figure the things that have confused me fall under the category of 'the supposed to be'. I'm not having any trouble that I'm aware of. I dig the whole thing. It's an awesome fic! :)

[sodakey]

Excellent! :) Thank you so much for the feedback.

[super_pan]

I definitely left the chapter a little confused, but vaguely so. I just wasn't sure what exactly had happened. But since this post was asking about exactly that, I went back and skimmed to see when and where and by what I was confused, and of course it was at the end. At the end, looking through poor Reid's skewed perception, when the (mean) author abruptly cuts off the story so that the reader must wait to find out what happened, and what happens next. So basically, I felt confused as I was intended by the author to feel. We're supposed to be in Reid's brain, where he can't tell what's real (and what's real is f**ked up enough), and what are memories, where clear insights flash only occasionally. So

[sodakey]

Thank you, Superpan, for the very helpful feedback. And I'm very sorry for my long delay in replying. Life's been a bitch. There were a few things from the last chapter that your feedback really helped me clarify, so thank you again. Chances are if you were to read the last chapter, you wouldn't find it drastically different, but also maybe a little less confusing in a few small areas... maybe, lol.

:D

This is neither constructive, nor criticism

[buffbanded]

All I have to say is, Guernica! That's a lie. Allow me to continue to blather:

1. Bombilla, the light coming on, the portension of a bomb going off. You are brilliant :D

2. I enjoy the way you seem to pack the most impact into the fewest amount of words.

3. Sentence fragments. Also a fan. But this in conjunction with the concentrated way you express things means that I can't be as lazy of a reader as I usually am with other fics where more of the dots are connected and reading 7-8 out of every 10 words still gives you the same picture. Of course, I can only speaking for my ADHD self here.

4. Action based storytelling and lack of overwrought exposition FTW. Show me, don't tell me. YES YES YES.

I'm afraid I have nothing but positives to offer. In the last chapter, I had to re-read at times to sort everything out for the reasons you mentioned, but it wasn't confusing once I made myself pay more attention.

Re: This is neither constructive, nor criticism

[sodakey]

Okay, first - sorry for my long long long delay in responding. Second - thank you for the feedback. (You know I was totally thinking Guernica. How could I not be? ;)

[water_soter]

I was a little confused in the beginning sequence with the others reaction to Reid leaving. It's more to do with the jump from the transition between the previous chapter and the current one.

[sodakey]

Hey water-soter,

:) Sorry for my absence but thank you for responding. I may ask for a little clarification here. What confused you, exactly between the last chapter and this one? How they got back in the building???

I confess, I'm really not concerned about that section at all. I'm going to make a guess that the style I'm using in the section jumps may not be one that your used to - this fic not being a direct flowing narrative.

Each section (defined by the section breaks) has the potential to jump time or pov, and for this style, a new section will often start on a random, minute detail then expand to fill in the scene. If by the end of a section, you're still confused about where they are or what they're doing, then I'm going to be a little more concerned. Does that make sense? Am I guessing your concern correctly?

[sodakey]

Hey, again, thank you so so much for taking the time to write out your feedback, and I apologize for my unforgivable delay in responding to you. Again, some things have hopefully been clarified, other things may still be confusing. I rely a bit too much on the readers sometimes to pick up on inference, but I'm working on that.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, and all the rest of it. :)