I have never done this before so...

[sodomis]

2 different beginnings to the same story. It's not like I'm forcing you to read, but I'd love to have your opinion on which one looks better. Maybe it will help me clarify things. So, I'd be grateful if you took a look and just tell me which you'd prefer? You don't even have to bother with the whys. Gee, I'm such a beggar, aren't I?

Comments

[alran]

I like them both, both make me want to know what will happen next, which is the very purpose of a good beginning, isn't it?

The second though, is a little more direct, tells less, drags you in more decisively.

So, the second.

YOu really are a good writer, you know?

[sodomis]

Oh thank you with all my heart. And you're always so very supportive:)

I realize that it's not the best thing to "publish work" or at least writing in progress when it's only a draft or just a beginning, but I get impatient, I need someone to hold my hand, I guess, and tell me, you know, go on, you're doing ok.

How have you been?

[eleni81]

Hey honey, I just got a chance to read this and I have to say I like the second one more. I like that you are involving the gun too and that we see what drove him to do the doctor.

[sodomis]

Thanks for reeading and taking the time to answer:)
Of course it's kind of silly to put one's "work" out there SO soon, but I got anxious.