I always loved finding and digging through old journals. People let go of filters when they write, and there is so much to discover. More honesty than you could ever hope to find, save for those rare late nights after a small amount of liquor. Or perhaps an evening of watching old movies, or running out into a torrential downpour, laughing at the ( Read more... )

I am not the one to make you smile ( Read more... )

I'm not always good to myself.

Time for the pills I keep forgetting. The ones that make me not crazy.

I hate having to take pills.

Are/were/are/were my best friend. Intense pain. It probably doesn't even compare to yours.

I hope I come back in a month.

i want to stop

Sleep is good, but food would be better.

I can't do this. There is no good in this, and there are no easy answers, just somebody crying and I don't know what to do.

OH GOD SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I CANNOT FOCUS.

I need to study and I can't study when it is not quiet and it is NOT QUIET because people make noise...

Man, getting back to pre shit storm body is a lot harder when I sit a lot more. Stupid desk job. Time to get back on the Atkins horse. Worked before, it'll work again.

Guthrie tonight, paycheck tomorrow, Duluth this weekend, so excited!

Shoulda said "fuck you" to that smooth, cold logic a long time ago.

It's hard. It's so very hard. All I can do is say everything there is to say to make it better, and do all that is good. But words are not enough. Promises and visions do not remove knives placed by my own hands. Time is the only source of your relief, and I must be patient.

I just want so bad to hold you close and pretend that my touch is all you ( Read more... )