The theme of Eating Disorder Awareness Week was "I didn't know that..." in order to confront the myths that surround Eating Disorders. Those myths not only hurt society as a whole, but those of us who battle them. I've found, personally, that conceptualizing my ED as an addiction rather than an event, helpful. And like a lot of addicts, I need to ( Read more... )

In many addictions recovery, there's a lot of work done around our relationships with our parents, and for a lot of us it's the relationship with the parent of the same sex. I could probably write forever about this, bemoaning the ways in which my upbringing and family dynamics contributed to my disorder. But I don't really want to, so I won't ( Read more... )

I can acknowledge that I’ve been lucky in my disorder. For the most part, I’ve escaped the turly awful physical side effects of my behaviors. I had iron so low when I was 19 that I craved ice constantly. I didn’t realize how close I came this summer. While I still have low blood pressure, I am no longer getting dizzy when I stand up or feeling ( Read more... )

One day I was working with a student, just returned to school after the round of what she called “ED camp” and we were talking about the dieting talk the women outside my office were engaging in. I wanted to tell them to shut up more for my own benefit than the students. In the kind of non-chalance I aim to emulate, my student laughed, shook her ( Read more... )

I've referenced or explicitly mentioned being bullied before. I struggled today with what to write here because I would place myself in the 65% whose bullying contribued to their eating disorder development. I don't feel up to recounting the experiences, rather I think I want to talk about how they affected my relationships ( Read more... )

I was going to write about how the media sells the idea that being thin will make us happy but decided what really interests me about media is how it directly related to eating disorders ( Read more... )

I've written and re-written this entry about 200 times. Today's theme is marginalized voices and to be completely honest, in the ED community I'm the dominant voice. I'm a white, upper middle class, visibly-able bodied, cis, straight-seemning woman. Orthodox Jews even make up a large percentage of ED hospitalizations so really, I am about as far ( Read more... )

I decided that I wanted to do a short, slightly less polished personal story each day for eating disorder awareness week. The theme is "I didn't know that..." and while I can't speak to others experiences, particularly the voices of people with marginalized identities in our Eating Disorder community, I can share parts of my story. I someday doubt ( Read more... )

I am afraid of the dark and have been since I was very young. I would lay in my bed terrified of what was under it, or the pattern of branches on a window. Worst yet was the odd shadow cast on my wall that I once convinced myself was a “Murderous Elephant” (I had just learned the word murderous so forgive me the melodrama.) I stayed up for hours ( Read more... )

The best example of "goodness of fit" personified was in Pacific Rim (yes, I know, contain the eyeroll). The idea of synchonization that allows people to pilot big, unruly machines and fight giant monsters basically sums up goodness of fit. It's how well you work with someone, or how much someone "gets" you. When a relationship seems to just click ( Read more... )