I'm a little bit mad at myself.

Tonight, I went to his church. I had to. I was supposed to be meeting the church administrator because my non-profit wants to partner with them. He told me his pastor was already on board and that I just needed to talk with the lady about our mission and our programs. Cool. Except, when I got there, it was like 10 ( Read more... )

I just had the best weekend with Eric. At first, I was excited to be "flewed out." Then I was apprehensive about sharing a hotel room because I did not want to sleep with him. Then, without discussion, he texted me that I should have no issues checking in because everything's pre-paid and that he'd see me later. That did not ease my mind about his ( Read more... )

I have gotten more and more signs to leave him alone. It's so comical.

So I talked to my homie...this is a guy that I rarely see anymore because he moved about two or three years ago. Whenever we link up once or twice a year, we have the best times catching up and talking business and dreams and music...then we end up passionately making out. I ( Read more... )

He apologized for not reaching out.

I feel like I put his feelings before mine, and that reminded me of my mother. I have seen her do that countless times for my father. It's their dynamic, and it works for them. I don't want to mimic that. So putting his feeling before mine on Friday felt natural but I didn't like it as it was happening, yet I ( Read more... )

I am so ready to start law school, it's crazy. I don't know how I'm going to pay for the other half of tuition or my cost of living, let alone my move, but I am ready to figure it out.

I'm just returning from vacation - one I could not afford. I haven't worked in almost 30 days now, and I don't actually want to return to work. I just want to go to ( Read more... )

I keep feeling like we could've done more. I could've done more to extend my grandmother's life.

Her health took a quick decline in the last month. Yes, she'd suffered with this disease for many, many years. Yes, the life expectancy for someone in her condition is like five years, and she'd far surpassed that. But, I honestly keep feeling like if ( Read more... )

I think God thought I wasn't being obedient (he's right), and I tried to rework what he'd clearly shown and told me into a better narrative to accommodate Keith being in my life. And so God decided to make it even plainer for me to see and understand.

Now I'm embarrassed at my forwardness toward this man. I'm embarrassed that I liked him as much ( Read more... )

I'm super ready to move. I'm not packed or organized. I just want to go. I'm tired of being here. A lot of me staying around was because of my grandmother. She is gone....so it's time for my new chapter. Caregiving has been a large part of my life since 2011... I feel such a void without it. Better law school than a man.

I don't want to be sad anymore. I've been grieving my grandmother for the past eight years, at least...so why I am so hurt by her passing? I really thought I'd be stronger. I hope I am the day of her funeral.

I realize I only wanted to be in a relationship for the wrong reason. I fear being lonely in law school. But that's only at the obscure one ( Read more... )

My grandmother died in her sleep this morning.