And on another note...

Dear Fat People Everywhere,

I am one of you.

I understand you.

Please stop wearing shorts.

It isn't cute.

Thanks a bunch.

Sincerely,

Me

While taking out frustration in the swimming pool, I flip-turned a little too quickly, whacked my leg against the side of the pool, threw myself off balance, hit my head on the tile wall, bit my lip, and got my hair stuck in the lane divider.

FUCK IT ALL.

MARK YOU CALENDARS ( Read more... )

IN OTHER NEWS ( Read more... )

Tomorrow I am doing something NEW and EXCITING! Actually, it's not exciting at all, but it recently occurred to me that I have never gone beyond the M-14 (to Ann Arbor) exit on I-275. I'm visiting a friend in Trenton tomorrow, and I think I might die after passing the M-14 exit on 275. Since that particular freeway, in my deluded world, ends at ( Read more... )

About a month ago I taught four "clients" how to make macaroni and cheese, broccoli, and low-fat brownies. They were happy to be out of their homes, happy to get seconds, and happy that I let them cut cheese, a term they thought was REALLY funny ( Read more... )

MOTHERFUCKER, IT'S SATURDAY ( Read more... )

So, this website never has anything, of any substance, on it. EVER.

But I love it. It belongs to my friend Erick.

Everyone should look at it once in awhile, as there is usually a picture (like today's of Celine Dione) of at least one celebrity doing something absolutely ridiculous.

And it takes exactly five seconds to take in the entire site.

Dear Everyone I Know ( Read more... )

A long, long time ago, in a land far, far away ( Read more... )