http://aroyalnonesuch.blogspot.com/

New and improved!

Long story short:

I had oral sex with Christopher who has had sex with another guy and now I can't give blood for a year. Damnit!

I think this may be the most complicated relationship I've ever gotten involved in. But the idea of not having him in my life hurts.

The highlight of my day: Danny loved his birthday present. That's easily the best part of my day. Easily.
The low point of the day: The minute after I got off the phone with Christopher. I am fully aware of the destruction. There's just... something missing between my brain and my heart. I will hurt four people in my pathetic, pathetic need for

In the last 24+ hours I've had two people tell me I was depressed and I needed to admit it and go see someone ( Read more... )

I have not felt so alone in a very, very long time. Like I'm still talking, there's just no one listening.

In a long conversation today I realized that of the four pillars of life (career, relationships- romantic and friends, family, and health) I have NONE that are secure. NONE. I'm unsatisfied with my job completely and for a little while it's going to be really up in the air as to what I'm going to do. My romantic investments are, at their best, ( Read more... )

I can't sleep. I can't stop hurting about Brian. Can't stop feeling like things have gone to shit and I need him in my life.

Mark called. And I'm sad that I don't get as happy when I talk to guys who are genuine possibilities as I do when I talk to Mark.

Fine. Go fuck yourself. What a waste of my time. I'm so done.