today i thought i was all cool because i stumped the internet translator thing when i was asking it about bowel movements. for some reason i couldnt get it to go back to english. it was weird. i mean it had no problems translating sentences about maty having sex with chickens but when it gets to bowel movements it just quit translating into english ( Read more... )

you know how in the mummy the bald guy says something like anok su namun or whatever to the half naked girl? today  my mom said that to the dog..

wtf is this that was in my refridgerator recently of last month?


( Read more... )

i was on ebay last night looking for a gold menorah and i came across some sort of genital wart cream. 100% satisfaction guarantee. now i know that if i get genital warts i can buy some sort of genital wart busting cream on ebay for 5 bucks. im super psyched about that. if you have 100 dollars you can buy an empty bottle of vicodin. i dont know why ( Read more... )

OMG OMG OMG OMG i was fucking with the keyboard and i made the internet toolbars go all shitty. you know how it gets all small and turns into a different formant without an address bar and start bar. i hate that. if you hammer the f9 f10 and f11 it comes back. im not exactly sure what keys do it but it works. everyone probably knows this but dammit ( Read more... )

today me and maty conquered san luis with the intent to get the rabbit fixed. so we drive directly to the german car fixers fixing place and the german guy was sending off funny vibes. it really felt like he hated us. it might have been that we duck taped the gas cap onto the rabbit which is probably some sort of german classic car. honestly 1982 ( Read more... )

rusty was in my dreams last night. chasing me and i fell in mud and then he kept walking looking for his pants. my dreams i fucking hate them. sdflkjdsjfdsjk NEVER FORGET FUCKING DDFDSFJDSFJJKJDSJFKLSDJFKLSDFJ NO!!!!!!!

so this is how i became emotionally scarred for life. i was at maty's tipped house. maybe its drinking buddies with its backyard ( Read more... )

sniffing screen doors will make you sneeze. sniffing white board markers and national geographics will make you hungry.

okay first things first im pissed off that britney spears got married. its not that im angry shes married its that she married this piece of trash that has two kids with a black person. its not right.

i just randomly remembered that when i was little i used the 0 key instead of the o key. i would type this paragraph about my horse or dog then look ( Read more... )

i hear about these celebrity look alikes and i think to myself dammit i want to look like im rich.
im not into the way they look or anything i just want their money. there
is nothing wrong with wanting someones money. my dad might pass as a celebrity
look alike though if you count saddam  hussein as a celebrity. many people (maty) agree with
me when ( Read more... )