I ( Read more... )

Virginia in late summer, I am discovering, is an entity in and of itself - there's you, and there's the world around you, and then there's the humidity. I am coping by only leaving the apartment for classes and groceries. Which probably makes me sound all sorts of lazy (which I'm not denying); but to be fair, this is a new place, and a new ( Read more... )

It occurred to me last night that I am in the middle of an existential crisis ( Read more... )

Someone asked me if I knew you.

A million memories flashed through my head

but I just smiled

and said

I used to.

Because it's January, and I'm cold all the time, and covered in plague-spawning demon children; because it's January, and I'm up to my neck in exams and paperwork and transcript requests. (Because it's all going to be worth it ( Read more... )

Last night my brother unwittingly dug out the last of the shrapnel you left behind nine months ago. It was fine like dust and gleamed like an oil spill in the dark, in the puddles on my driveway, and I had been carrying it lodged in my gut for so long that when it finally erupted it hurt more coming out than it did when it shredded me in the first ( Read more... )

I need a fresh start.

I need people who don't speak in hushed voices about my little disappointment last spring, or look at me with pity when others discuss weddings and babies and new houses. I want to watch my friends get married without everyone around me staring at me instead of at the front of the church, hovering like I'm due to explode any ( Read more... )

A family friend told me recently that I have developed this ( Read more... )

You don't know me yet, but you will. You'll know me by my unshaken faith that people find each other when they're meant to, that it doesn't erase the things that came before. You'll know me by my unshaken faith that I am who I need to be. You'll know me by my smile when I finally see your face, and by the way I settle against you the first time you ( Read more... )

When we sang this song in choir at school it was easily the most beautiful thing I had ever heard: low and soft and peaceful and with a melody that ebbs and swells like the sea. I'm listening to it tonight and hoping - praying - that somehow, somewhere, my lost little one is peacefully at rest in the arms of the slow swinging seas - that somehow he ( Read more... )