So I guess I freaked out last night. I totally lost control. I ate and ate and ate until I seriously thought my stomach would rip, explode, until I thought I would die. I felt like the lowest person on this earth. It was awful. I felt so alone, so miserable. I didn't know what to do. This morning, I kind of feel like it was all a bad dream. My ( Read more... )

again, i posted this to the community ( Read more... )

So, all I had today was the most marginal amounts of coldcuts (like teeny teeny bites), and about three spoonfuls of chili with like four oyster crackers, two cups of coffee, and tons of water and diet soda. The worst was that maybe I had four or five cookies throughout the course of the day (Those easter cookies are KILLING ME!!). But still, that ( Read more... )

Posted this to the community ( Read more... )

Guh...I don't know what's going on with me...Yesterday at lunch I had only eaten half a slice of pizza and one ladle full of soup. That was IT. I knew if I didn't have some pizza I was going to binge. It would have been great if it could have stopped at that, but I went home and had some cookies...But still, it was bad, but maybe only around 600 ( Read more... )

Today was super wierd, at first I wasn't hungry at all even though everyone was eating around me, and so after work I forced myself to eat because it had been almost 24 hours, and I just COULDN'T put more than like 300 cals in me...then I can home and had some cookies, I'm sure that put me up to around 500, but the thing is I was SOOOO hungry and I ( Read more... )

Success! I'm going to bed soon and I haven't eaten ANYTHING since my binge...I'm so proud of myself. I really didn't think I'd make it, I usually cave in after I exercise. I was only able to do 350 cals on the elliptical, but I couldn't even force myself to eat a pear afterward when I felt sick ( Read more... )

So, I had a good couple of days...I don't think I went over 100 cals for the past three days. Then, for some stupid reason, I decided to go to lunch with my friends...and it's on campus, and figures its a buffet. I start off with like, three coldcuts that I can't finish, and then OMG they have tacos. So i get one, figuring I'll eat half, but then, ( Read more... )

There are some days that I wake up, and I have no idea where I am, or how I got here. I don't think I recognize myself anymore. I go from looking like a huge cow to being so thin I mistake my own reflection for that of a little girl. But, even though I look like a cow right now, I miss looking like a little girl. I miss looking like how I feel. I ( Read more... )

Posted it to the group, but it does a much better job of describing what I'm feeling as compared to my stupidly-vague entry earlier lol ( Read more... )