Object Permanence

[solsticezero]

Title: Object Permanence
Rating: PG
Warnings: Major discussion of depression, grief, post traumatic stress-related emotional issues; possible triggers regarding those topics.
Characters: Gwen+Ianto, Jack/Ianto; Ianto-centric
Summary: You need to learn that we won't disappear if you close your eyes. -pocky_slash, "Separation Anxiety"

Note: So I sat down

Comments

[pocky_slash]

I was literally clutching my chest for most of this ♥ ♥

OH, IANTO. YOU'RE NOT CRAZY. I PROMISE.

I want to quote the whole thing back at you. There's SO MUCH that fits right into my brain with the way they work, Gwen understanding what's going through Ianto's head and sitting up with him, Ianto refusing to acknowledge the way his relationship with Jack has changed, Ianto's fear that he's crazy and thoughts of his mother and oh, Ianto. Have I ever showed you the part of the S2 fill-ins where Ianto tells Gwen about his mother? Because... oh, my heart.

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I LOVE HOW MUCH THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU.

Oh, I want to read this a million more times. They're all so broken. They need each other!

You are wonderful. Thank you for writing this. Please write nine hundred more immediately. ♥

[solsticezero]

No and now you have to send that to me immediately do not pass go do not collect $200.

I AM GLAD THAT YOU LIKED IT. It was basically written in spurts of "WHAT AM I DOING?" followed by listening to "After All" by Dar Williams and then going back to "WHAT AM I DOING?"

[pocky_slash]

Hahaha, I will get on that as soon as I finish making mcwonthelottery an FBI badge!

Oh, Dar. Dar (and that song in particular) has gotten me through so much ♥ There were originally an awkward number of Dar songs on my Ianto mix. I weeded some of them off and just kept the major Gwen+Ianto one. And one other. BUT THAT'S IT, I SWEAR.

But really, oh man, I can't say it enough, this was so... I just clutched my chest the entire time because poor Ianto and he's twenty-five and a fucking mess and afraid he's going crazy and all Gwen and Jack can do is be patient and wait for him to pull himself together ♥ ♥ ♥

[solsticezero]

*fistshake* BECCA!

I really like the song. Like, a lot. "Once upon a time I had control, and reigned my soul in tight." Nom. Very fitting.

[nancybrown]

BACK LATER. SOBBING NOW.

This is how they all take care of each other! *flaily arms*

[solsticezero]

*response flaily arms* I am pleased that it provoked flaily arms and sobbing!

[neifile7]

I had a very strong reaction to this, because it's such a convincing picture of grief deflection -- into anxiety on the one hand and self-loathing on the other. It's much easier to beat up on oneself or try to control little bits of one's world than it is to feel absolute loss and know it for what it is. I like how inarticulate Ianto is, in different ways with both Gwen and Jack, and how Jack is, to all appearances, coping better; those notes strike me as very true. This is a neat subversion of the fanon that has Jack in pieces and Ianto holding matters together post-Exit Wounds, and I think it works well.

Also, I love the idea of Jack doing night laundry as a kind of primal insomniac therapy. Even though he'd probably have to flee to the roof during the drying cycle. :)

[solsticezero]

Wow, thank you very much. I'm legitimately pleased that what Ianto was doing came through so clearly -- enough that you were able to lay it out so much better than I could have, even having written it. I'm happy that you liked it.

And pocky_slash is entirely to blame for Jack's night-laundering! According to her Club Wales canon, Ianto's building doesn't have roof access, so Jack does laundry as a substitute. I've always found it brilliant, so I stole it. With some semblance of permission.

[pocky_slash]

Also, he rearranges the cabinets and Ianto hates it XD

[chicleeblair]

gah lovelovelove

[rm]

So lovely and quiet.