Things aren't particularly wonderful, and I haven't written here in too long.

More on that later.

I feel really irritated even though it's not legitimate. I'm mad that I wasted so much time on liking Katie, but I guess it's over, so it doesn't matter.

I had to change my clothes twice last night because I woke up drenched in sweat. Ugh.

I want to go back to Oberlin..

I am so freaked out about so many things. Here is where I unload them:

First of all, I came out to stay with the grandparents last Friday for (presumably) the weekend. On Saturday, my back started hurting me a lot. On Sunday, I woke up and puked. And puked. And PUKED seven times. I couldn't even keep water down, it was ridiculous. I still ( Read more... )

Finals always instills in me the same feeling of unendingness, such heavy work for so long. But all I have left is my portfolio, and then a few finishing details. I feel like I'm going to get a 'B' in Comics & Animation, and if this is actually the case, I'll be kind of disappointed. I'd like an 'A' in satire, which I think I will get...probably ( Read more... )

I'm sitting in the library cafe, writing here because I'm a huge procrastinator...

Satire final down, comics and creative writing to go. I'm actually not that stressed out. Just sick of this.

I've been feeling unsettled lately. Ambivalent. I think it's because I'm instinctively afraid of being happy. Happy just means that I'm going to fall ( Read more... )

I've been feeling strange and unsettled. Like I want to run away and do something different. But that's not what I really want, anyway, so I'll just have to be docile I guess.

I love Dylan and this scares me a lot. I don't know if it's very healthy to get attached to people much at college, everything is so fucking volatile. I feel like I'd be ( Read more... )

I have to finish reading Absurdistan, Runaways, and 32 Stories. I have to do my satire presentation. I have to finish writing my Oberlin satire story, then make it even more absurd, then edit it. I have to finish my Lola of the Lake comic. I have to revamp and revise lots of my creative writing stuff, then build my portfolio. I have to turn in ( Read more... )

The Harkness party was fun, despite all the problems. It made me have faith in Harkness again, go communism.

I have three huge, very very threatening finals. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it...with Adderall.

Dylan makes me so fucking happy.

I'm getting better slowly. And I get my meds back today, yay.

Julia and I made up. I feel better about me vs people in general the past couple days.

And of course, Dylan makes everything wonderful. Always.

I can't fucking do this. I really, really can't take it.

And then I tell him I love him and he doesn't say it back. Again.