I hate having crushes. I get crushed. It sucks. But I realize this, and hence my crushes are always on ridiculously bad for me people. They have nothing in common with me usually, and it would never happen... but the fantasy about the infatuation is just lovely to think about sometimes. I like to pretend how great it all would be if I could make my ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wonder what will happen when I die. Everyone is so bugging about Heath Ledger, and feeling sorry for him. RIP Heath, pray for the Ledger family, how sad how sad. But non of you knew him, maybe he was the devil. It looks as though he killed himself, and he has a 2 year old daughter. I think that's a little selfish. I don't really feel ( Read more... )

I suddenly feel down, for hardly any reason. I am overthinking everything way too much, thinking about things that don't even matter to me or to anyone. I mentally lament lost friendships and endlessly wonder. Maybe I'm just a little beat and tired of the monotony. I have no idea what my grand excuse will be for my depression this time. I feel that ( Read more... )

I want it to be true. I want to have it all. I want to be in love. I want to truly reciprocate the feelings he has for me (so he claims). I just don't know if I can. I assume that time will tell... that with time, it'll come to me. With time, I will realize everything- that he's the one, the only one I want to be with and that I don't want to hurt ( Read more... )

 I'm rather worried that I may have said something that will doom me. Or rather, I have a certain feeling that may prove lethal. I can't change the way I feel, and I know it means something. Every feeling has a meaning, leading to another feeling. Why do I feel the way I do? Is it because I want a way out, or is it because I see myself following a ( Read more... )

I know I've only been away for like 4 days... but I hate this. I hate being so far from him and not knowing what he might be doing. As much as I conceptually trust him, it's so hard. He's around friends from corps, with whom he's done God knows what. It's so hard for me to trust him, especially when I feel like a little immature high school ( Read more... )

 
"Has there been a time when I wouldn't come see you at like 5 in the morning, walking through a blizzard?"
:)

I've never felt like this before. This isn't high school hand holding anymore. This is when you look at long-term goals, talk about your futures and assume they will be together. I'm so happy, it scares me. All I do is wonder how long it ( Read more... )

I know I haven't written in a long time, but I more tend to write when I am depressed or down. And I truly haven't been in a while ( Read more... )

Is it terrible that I truly want a friend of mine to break up with his girlfriend so that I can hang out with him like old times? We used to hang all the time, but now even when we are hanging out (just us two), she ends up joining and I get ignored. It's highly uncool. However, they are a fantastic couple and he is so happy. I shouldn't even be ( Read more... )

Indecisiveness is really bringing me down. About everything. My major, housing options, the boy, other boys, band, friends... gah. I just have no idea what to really do anymore about anything. I am the number 1 proponent of Getting One's Shit Together, but I feel like I'm eventually (soonish) going to have nothing that I want. I need to figure ( Read more... )