disregard the time/distance/progress I thought I made.

still.
still?
fuck.

still.

my sister is watching lie to me, my mom is watching some marathon of a chinese drama, and I'm sitting at the computer, trying to coordinate a thanksgiving trip to nyc and talking to someone who may or may not be someone else. if that makes sense. most likely not ( Read more... )

So I am writing with the FREE WIFI of a hostel in chengdu (after sadsadsad internet death in our dorm/hotel/cockroach-nest in jiangyou), which I am told on good authority from multiple accounts is an international city. TECC has been a multitude of many words, basically all of which I am too tired to muster. Haven't been sleeping. What else is new ( Read more... )

So. (Or actually, more accurately, the sound I've been making lately is more like "aii") I'm internet-ing away (hello, dial-up) at the oldoldold computer of my aunt and uncle's in Wuxi - my entire family's hometown. My sister, mom, and cousin all left a couple hours ago to go back to Nanjing, and I'm here for a day, awaiting my own (35+ hour) train ( Read more... )

Currently sitting in my mother’s apartment. Listening to Regina. Learning to be alone again. And it’s good ( Read more... )

God. Damn. I really shouldn't feel as bored and restless as I do. I have shit to do. a lot of it actually. I could clean. I could clean out my inbox. I could catch up on TV shows even.

But. I choose to sit. and do nothing. and feel restless. and now I blog. I've always hated that word. sounds so silly. k. but. despite what I may sound like. I ( Read more... )

I woke up at 6:30 this morning to get to Flower Mound by 7:30. And then I got lost getting to a new house. It's okay because all three girls are still asleep and who wants a nanny who would force them out of bed?

So I wander around this house. There's a fly stuck between the window and its blinds. Instant noodle cups in the pantry. A laptop. No ( Read more... )

I did my common app. The easy parts, anyway. Hah I couldn't even finish the extracurricular section because it hurt my head to think of all I've done... like I have a mass of activities and "honors" I guess you could call them, but really how significant are they? But then I got to the essay portion and I realized - I'm not completely sure who I am ( Read more... )

Um. Okay. I just read what I just wrote and I sound really down on myself.

So, using JUXTAPOSITION, I'll write happy things.

• AP testing over! and I actually finished my essays
• made Rhapsody :D
• I'm arranging my first a cappella song - haha I have a vision for a ballad version of Baby One More Time - yes, britney
• I'm taking more responsibility - I need ( Read more... )

I live a cushy life. I'm super sheltered, super middle class, and really privileged. So why do I have so much to complain about?

I don’t think I’m a negative person. I don’t feel like I put on any sort of “mask” when I’m happy. In fact, I was in a really good mood for most of this week, and it was only a few moments of feeling really crummy, of ( Read more... )