It's been a while, so I thought I check in.  Today was one of the best days I had in a long time.  I awoke to sunlight and the crisp scent of a spring morning.  I worked out, then went to Saturday market with Ivy, Julia, Kristen and Becca, and had the most glorious time.  The produce was vibrant and beckoning, the vendors jubilant and excited.   ( Read more... )

I'm losing it.  My sanity.  My self respect.  My sense of who I am.

Selwa told my mom that I'm happy, that she can see I'm happy.  No Selwa.  I'm just good at acting.

I can't say anything more to Mom because as much as she wants me to tell her everything, it will just add more pain to her life right now.  Just because it's the truth doesn't mean it ( Read more... )

 I'm sitting here at my kitchen table in the house that I grew up in.  My parents are asleep, but for the third night in a row, sleeping makes me feel uneasy.  It's the fact that every morning that I jerked awake, I feel so disoriented.  It's the fact that although I'm sleeping in the same bed I've slept in for the last 18 years, I wake up and have ( Read more... )

I'm back. Back in Eugene, back to school, back to the cycle. And I'm so completely happy.

Everything is so different now. So familiar, of course, but so wonderfully different. Living off campus, I now am beginning to understand just how much stress living in the dorms put me under. Last year, I didn't have a home. That's such a substantial ( Read more... )

My God, I wish my world would stop spinning.

In less than 17 hours, I will be checked out of my dorm. Leaving Eugene. Gone ( Read more... )

63 hours.

It's raining. Slightly misting, dark clouds reaching down into the Eugene hills, the grey stands of Hayward Field matching the hue in the sky. The O sticker on my window perfectly frames four trees, each with various heights. The sky is as heavy and fogged as my mind. It is moments like this where I wonder why the weather always seems to ( Read more... )

Good: Aced J quiz, excited for volunteering for Eating Right Here, Consuming Agendas final project guidelines a lot simpler, dinner including scrambled eggs and cornbread muffin, eating Sweet Life cake, SUN ( Read more... )

Fuck. It's week two, day one and I already feel so overwhelmed. I just want to curl up in a fetal position and let this term pass ( Read more... )