Ignorance is Bliss: Chapter 1 Part 1:
Chapter 1:
*Mantra pops in, in place of SOS, grumbling*
Mantra: GAH, another Twilight story. Why do I always get the shitty ones?
This is Chapter 1 of my story. I tried to make it as creative as possible. Enjoy!
Mantra: *Raises eyebrow*...I'm not sure I believe you about that.
NG55: Definitely don't believe it. A lot of things are enjoyable, even if they're bad. But this, however, is not. Not by a long shot.
Mantra: Figures. That goddamned bitch never gives me anti-sporking duty.
Naomi Delacour blinked open her emerald green eyes, startled by the sound of her alarm.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISING: 1
Mantra: *Chokes on air* Emerald? Seriously? She actually wrote that? Wow...
NG55: She did, I'm afraid. Emerald...once my cherished birth stone, and a lovely colour of green...now just a painful memory of that horrendous Emerald...
Mantra: Dude, GEMSTONE EYES. I thought they were a myth! There were actually people stupid enough to write them? Wow...*Shakes head*
Slowly, she rolled over in the soft bed and pressed the snooze button, silencing the shrill noise.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 1
Mantra: Okay, was there ONE verb or noun in that sentence that's NOT got an adjective or adverb attached?
NG55: She does this throughout the whole story, I'm afraid.
Mantra: *Bangs head against table* I hate purgatory.
Nami got up and yawed softly while stretching. A pair of long baby pink pajama pants hung loosely off her pale hips.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 1
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 3
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 2
Mantra: *Narrows eyes* What, is she at a porno shooting?
NG55: That would be the only logical explanation. But no, the Suethor clearly wants Nami to flaunt her oh-so hot body...Which doesn't even match up to model standards, but we'll get to that later.
A matching tank top reached just above her belly button.
Mantra: Okay, it's obvious now. She's at a porno shooting and nothing you can say can convince me otherwise.
NG55: Don't worry, I don't plan to.
“I like it here. Because it rains all the time. And I love rain.”
Mantra: Somehow, Suethors always seem to think that giving their Sues one token like and one token dislike means they have a personality now. I hate that. I bet she only likes rain because she likes being wet all the time.
NG55: ...I love rain, and this hurts me because she and most Suethors use it for two reasons only. One, because they feel it's soooo gloomy and sad and perfect for their wangsting, or two, because it somehow connects them to their canon love interest. :<
The thought cheered her up.
Mantra: It's so rare that she gets any thoughts at all, I'm sure she's overjoyed to find out that her lone brain cell is still functional.
“I want to do something today.”
Mantra: What do you usually do? Sit there and watch the walls get eroded?
Suddenly a realization hit her. Nami dropped the spoon in the half eaten bowl of fruit salad and rushed upstairs.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 2
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 4
Mantra: *Doubtfully* She left her dildo on her bed?
NG55: Do not mention dildos....Twilight Dildos...*Curls up and trembles*
Mantra: *Laughs* Didn’t one woman admit to freezing it before she us-
SOS: *Pops in and wallops Mantra with a baseball bat* STOP SQUICKING THE READERS OUT! The Sue does that well enough on her own!
Mantra: Gah! *Snatches bat away and scowls as SOS pops out*
“Shit, school! I completely forgot!”
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 5
Mantra: ...Please excuse me. I have to bash my brains out against a wall.
NG55: I'd do the same if I didn't have such a low tolerance to pain.
Mantra: Having the power of regeneration also helps.
Naomi threw on a pair of Guess jeans ripped along the length of both legs and a green Happy Bunny shirt matching her eyes.
Mantra: Her jeans were ripped? And ALL along her legs? I’m pretty sure most schools wouldn’t allow pants ripped THAT extensively.
It said ‘CUTE BUT PSYCHO. THINGS EVEN OUT’.
Mantra: Suethor, that joke is not funny in the Twilight universe, where psychos are regularly forgiven for being cute.
NG55: Yes, normally it would be, even if Happy Bunny is slightly dated, but Twilight definitely isn't the right circumstances for it, especially that particular quote.
She quickly brushed her pearly white teeth and her wavy jet black hair.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 5
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 7
Mantra: *Waves hands* Yeah, yeah, we know you're beautiful and hot and shit. Can we move on?
NG55: (Suethor) NAMI IS BEAUTIFUL! HAVE YOU GOT THAT?!?! YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT NOW! SHE IS GORGEOUS!!!!
Mantra: *Sneers* Not as beautiful as me.
Rushing downstairs for the second time this morning, Nami grabbed her car keys and the backpack she had prepared a week in advance. She slid on a pair of green Nikies that matched her shirt.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 3
Mantra: ...and this is important, HOW? Is the colour of her shoes going to be a plot point?
NG55: Not at all, I'm afraid. Otherwise this would be The Legend of the Green Shoes.
Mantra: *Laughs* I like you.
SOS: *Pops in* Touch her and die.
NG55: *Giggle* It's okay, SOS. I like you too, Mantra. This is fun.
Mantra: *Leers* We could have even more fun...
SOS: *Bats her away with a keyboard* See what I told you? Don't encourage her.
NG55: *Nervous laugh* Anyway, let's move on.
Out in the slightly drizzling rain, she unlocked her brand new Silver Porsche Carrera GT and started it,
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 6
Mantra: Yes, you have money. But you know what you don't have? A personality.
NG55: With all her money, she probably thinks she can buy one.
peeling the wheels on the parking gravel.
Mantra: Her driveway is made of cheese -graters?
NG55: Eww. Grated tires. Not putting that on my spaghetti!
She slammed her foot on the gas, speeding towards her new school.
Mantra: And was immediately caught, firmly reprimanded, and fined?
NG55: In the real world, small town or not, that's exactly what would happen. But no. Even with the damp roads, which, alone, would be cause for danger, she is flawless with her driving. Which makes no sense at all and infuriates me because I know that many people who have been in accidents or have had loved ones die in accidents like this because of people like her will be offended by this. Now, if this was portrayed to be a bad thing, an addiction she can't stop, that would work, But no. We're supposed to love and admire it just like with Edward.
It has been a long time since Nami went to a regular school.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 4
Mantra: Before, she went to a Super Special Sue School!
She thought back to the day she decided to move to Forks. It had been quite sudden and spontaneous.
‘A Month Ago’
Mantra: ...talk about sudden and spontaneous.
NG55: Might as well get used to the crappy transitions. *Keyboards in some iced tea* Want anything?
Mantra: Nah, I'm fine.
Naomi woke up feeling tired again.
Mantra: Then perhaps you should reduce your nightly activities.
She had barely gotten any sleep. Work had been piling so much lately.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 8
Mantra: *Raises eyebrows* I wasn't aware models also dabbled in this career...though it certainly explains how she got to model for Victoria's Secret.
NG55: Despite being a freaking MINOR and all, which normally ISN'T ALLOWED.
Mantra: I imagine she just modelled for the paedophilia edition.
She heard the sound of keys and knew it was her manager Sophia coming to tell her the schedule for this week. But Nami didn’t want to know,
NICKNAME MISUSE: 5
Mantra: She much preferred to go about her week completely unprepared? That's...an interesting approach.
she wanted to stop living like a robot.
Mantra: What the hell is that supposed to mean? Models lived like robots? They had to be recharged every few days? They have software programs?
NG55: She’s referring to how modelling is apparently so monotonous, despite being one of the most competitive industries in the world.
She wanted to go on her own in the world, at least for a while. She wanted…..no, needed a break.
Mantra: And she always gets what she wants. Fuck all her contracts and the various magazines depending on her to provide them with a cover. Fuck her agent, who's going to be out of a job now. Fuck them all. They don't matter. They're not Sues.
NG55: That sadly is the case, I'm afraid.
Sophia barged in her bedroom, just like every morning. She had a Starbucks coffee, with no sugar or sweetener in her left hand and papers in her right, just like every morning.
Mantra: Ah, I see she's the Renee of the story.
NG55: But there’s no Charlie, I'm afraid. No moustache of awesome.
Mantra: Damn. That guy had a HOT moustache...
One would have thought that life in LA would be more interesting. Well they’re wrong.
Mantra: Because you are the Ultimate Judge of What Is Interesting and Not. If you declare something boring, then absolutely no one on earth will find it interesting.
NG55: All Sues seem to have that power. I won't even go into how wrong she is. Oh yes, she only lives right in HOLLYWOOD.
“Good morning, sunshine! Today you have a photo shoot for the new revolutionary bra for VS. Then you have lunch with the new model from Seventeen Magazine…..” her manager begun.
Mantra: Revolutionary bra? I'm sorry, I'm sure that is a legitimate name, but it sounds damned silly.
(Bras): You can take our lives, but you will never take our FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOM!
“Sophia.” Nami said sounding tired.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 6
Mantra: Ah, she even copies Bella in that she talks to her guardian like she's a child. That does not make you look more mature, dear. It just makes you RUDE.
“Let me see. What was her name? It all sounded so foreign, it’s hard to remember.” She rumbled on.
“Sophia.” Nami’s patience was thinning. She hated being ignored on purpose.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 7
Mantra: Ah, I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning. Who is it that's ignoring everything Sophia is saying right now, I wonder. Not to mention, wasn't she talking all about how she hates fame and being the centre of attention? I seem to remember that...
NG55: Oh, trust me. She'll be doing that all the time in this story. But don't be fooled, we all know it's a load of lies.
“Oh I know it was Janel…Janel Caslina, right?!”
“Sophia, I want a break.”
Mantra: Yes, I can see how being deliberately ignored is so irritating. It just drives you mad, doesn't it?
NG55: See what I mean? Must....go...to...happy place!
Naomi kept her voice calm and steady, stopping her irritation from showing.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 8 (She’s not screaming about how she’s oh so beautiful, but she’s still clearly expecting us to complement her on her amazing patience here, so…one point.)
Mantra: Which is rather pointless, because the people you have to show your personality TO, the audience, still know you're a gigantic bitch.
NG55: You'd think the woman who does her job well AND has to take care of her as her legal guardian would get a little more respect.
“Oh, of course, you have a half hour break after lunch, don’t worry, I scheduled……..” She began, but Nami cut her off.
“I want a real break. A vacation. I’m just so tired of this monotone life!” She exclaimed.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 8
Mantra: (Naomi) And no one matters except ME! So you better start doing what I want, or I'll throw a BABYFIT! I'm so BORED! It sucks! It's not fair! And who here would ever understand that the very awesome Sue with the awesome hair would tire of her-
NG55: *Smacks her with the steel pipe with a spork tied to it* NEVER. DO THAT. AGAIN!
Mantra: *Ducks out of the way* Not to mention, doesn't she have a contract? I'm sure models can't back out of deals with magazines just like that, unless they want to pay SERIOUS money for breaking contract.
NG55: *Googles* Yep, when you're on contract, you do have to adhere to certain conditions. Otherwise you can get in serious legal trouble. If this were the real world, and she just up and left, I think companies would think twice about hiring her if she had nullified her contract in the past. Not to mention the millions of dollars she’ll have to pay to her contractors…
“Nami, what’s this all of the sudden?” Asked Sophia surprised. “You never complain about your job.”
Mantra: Nope, Suethor, not buying it. Complaining doesn't always have to be vocal, and she's been amply complaining from the start of this fic.
NG55: Not buying it either. And I'm willing to bet she won't even know the difference between whining and complaining.
“Then it’s about damn time! It’s all because of Mother dearest. I felt like I still owed her for allowing me to take ballet. Bull! Not anymore! I’m going to a small town and continuing my education properly.”
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 9
Mantra: Yes, of course, she never complains. Don't you little shits even THINK darling Naomi would sink as low as complaining.
NG55: Owed her WHAT?! You make your mother sound like she was a controlling dragon who forced you into this! She ENCOURAGED you to be a model, and even made a compromise! It was to make you happy by teaching ballet, and also to give modelling a chance, since you had the connections to do so and see if you liked it! ENCOURAGING and giving something a chance and being forced into something by a domineering mother are NOT THE SAME THING!
Naomi wasn’t angry. She was happy.
Mantra: And you did a BRILLIANT job of showing her happiness with that little speech up there. Truly, you are the master of conveying emotion.
NG55: A literary genius. *Slow clap*
She had finally realized what she wanted to do. On her own. She smiled slightly
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 11
Mantra: (Naomi) I shall pursue a career in professional wanking! To my own beauty, of course.
“But what about Mrs. Johnson? Is she not a good teacher?” Sophia questioned about Nami’s private tutor. Her manager was clearly confused. Naomi sighed and shook her head.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 12
Mantra: (Naomi) Oh, that silly woman. She's so stupid! Can't she tell what I'm thinking? What kind of idiot can't read minds?
“I barely have any time to sleep, and least of all studying.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 13
Mantra: (Naomi) I'm so tired, I can't even keep my tenses consistent!
I want to go to school. I want to be normal and have real friends.”
Mantra: Because homeschooled children are all freaks and have no friends. Yes.
NG55: Apologies to all homeschooled children everywhere...How I envy you all.
Sophia seemed to understand the child’s yearnings. She smiled sadly.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 14
Mantra: (Sophia) I have tried to prevent this day's coming, but I see my efforts have been in vain. Once a Sue, always a Sue. *Sighs in regret and stabs Naomi with a spork*
NG55: Well gosh, Sophia sure seems to be accepting this pretty well. Despite being her MANAGER and GUARDIAN.
“But you’ll come back right?” She asked Nami softly. The girl stood up from the bed and embraced her companion for the most part of her life.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 9
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 15
“Oh, Sophia! Of course I’ll come back. I would never abandon you.
Mantra: Who wants to bet she never mentions Sophia again?
NG55: I'll bet everything.
Maybe after I finish high school. Maybe.”
Mantra: Maybe? One sentence after declaring you'll never abandon her, you're already doubting whether you'll return or not?
Also, I notice that she never considers being in contact with Sophia and yet also not being a model. Clearly, she's not nearly as close to Sophia as she wants us to believe, if she can't even conceive just being casual friends with the woman.
Sophia looked at Nami. Her soft motherly grey eyes sparkled with tears.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 10
Mantra: She even does that thing where all good characters are described with positive adjectives! As if being nice to the Sue should be rewarded by the greatest prize of them all, BEAUTY!
NG55: Sparkling. ...Really? Just...really? In a TWILIGHT fanfiction. No wonder.
“Will you at least tell me where you’re going?” Naomi smiled and let out a cute giggle.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 9
Mantra: *Disgust* Please STOP describing you own avatar as 'cute'. Cuteness should be judged by the readers. The more you try to convince us, the more I loathe your pretty little avatar. NO ONE can be cute after doing what she just did. Give up.
NG55: Nothing about her is cute, especially when the "cuteness" followed her being such a careless bint.
“Nope! That’s a secret! I will definitely phone you though.” She laughed again and winked.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 16
Mantra: Isn't Sophia her legal guardian right now? Is she even allowed to go away and live on her own without her guardian's knowledge?
NG55: Of course she isn't. She's only sixteen. She just pulled another Bella: letting your guardian or parent know where you're going sets a bad precedent.
Mantra: She’s lying too, another trait borrowed from Bella. She JUST decided a moment ago that she wanted a break, so there’s no fucking way she ALREADY knows exactly where she’ll be going. The only reason she refuses to tell the truth is out of fear that her guardian will force her to stay if she knew exactly how unprepared she was. *Disgust*
‘Present’
Naomi was smiling while recalling what had happened.
Mantra: I don't see why Suethors insist on using techniques they obviously can't handle. That was the WORST flashback I've ever seen. It's pointless, meaningless, and badly marked.
NG55: I concur. We don't NEED flashbacks or an entire college essay's worth of facts! A few simple sentences, descriptive but brief, is all we need. That will help us paint a picture in our minds, and yet still leave a few things to the imagination where it counts.
Forks was a door for her, waiting to be opened.
Mantra: And we have the most cliched analogy EVER, used by Suethors everywhere!
So far she had only remodeled the two story house that stood secluded in a forest clearing close to the main road.
Mantra: Did this sentence have ANY connection to the last one at all?
NG55: Not in the least...And I love homes surrounded by forest...*Cries*
Mantra: I have to wonder, how many two-storey houses in woods does she think are in Forks? It was explicitly said that the Cullens built their own houses, so we have to assume that house is unique...so how did she manage to secure yet another two-storey house in the woods in one month’s time?
NG55: I'm afraid it's going to have to fall to this tired, unexplained, illogical reason...A wizard did it.
She was going about 85mph down the same narrow road. Just the way she liked it. Fast cars and dangerous roads.
Mantra: Speeding! Fun for the family!
NG55: An insult to drivers and accident victims...and oh, another disconnected sentence.
As she neared the school she eased off the gas and let the car slow down.
Mantra: Man, I'm so glad the Suethor told me that. Otherwise, I would have assumed she'd have rammed right into the school.
NG55: Where is Charlie? I want his awesome moustache to come in and arrest the Sue right now.
Nami made a left and entered the school parking lot. Out of the corner of her eye she saw heads turning.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 11
Mantra: And, of course, heads turn wherever she goes. *Sighs with boredom* Lady, can you be ANY more clichéd?
NG55: For someone who apparently hates fame, she sure makes sure that everyone is looking at her.
She kept her eyes ahead, not daring to look at the other students, afraid of their reaction.
Mantra: (Students) A Sue! *Mobs and lynches her*
NG55: Nami didn't see it coming. She tried to hide in her car, but then the killer wasps made their way into the car and proceeded to swarm along her...oh wait, wrong movie...*Shudders and curls up again* Damn wasps...!
Naomi parked easily near the office and turned the softly murmuring engine off.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 18
SHAMLESS SELF PRAISE: 10
Mantra: *Narrows eyes* Somehow, that jumped out at me in the worst way possible. Oh, she's also a FANTASTIC driver, isn't she? I'm sorry, but NO sixteen-year-old is a smooth driver. NONE.
NG55: Softly murmuring the engine?! ...Gethesemane, nice disguise, but get out of here. I knew you came back...
She swiftly slid out of the car, grabbing her backpack and hurried to the office, avoiding the curious and startled looks people were giving her.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 19
Mantra: Why is she drawing so much attention, anyways? I mean, yeah, the car she drove was expensive and shit, but you'd think people would write her off as a snob and be done with it. After all, this is the same town that's had to deal with the Cullens. I can't imagine people being STARTLED by her.
NG55: (Students) AH! A Sue! Quick, every hot guy and girl has to stand clear!!
The office was deserted. There wasn’t a single living soul in there. No staff, teachers, or students.
Mantra: They had received news that a colossal Sue was coming and all fled.
NG55: What the hell? This is a HIGH SCHOOL administration office! It's NEVER deserted during work hours!
Nami sat in one of the chairs neatly lined up against the wall, dropping her designer backpack on the floor.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 12
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 20
Mantra: Yes, but you STILL don't have a personality, do you? Bitch, face it. I'm a mass-murdering eldritch abomination in human form, and I'm more likeable than you any day.
NG55: Quint from the movie version of Jaws was an ass himself, but he was hilarious, well-written and still so likable.
Suddenly the door opened and she expected to see Ms. Cope. She had come about a week ago to register for the school and take the placement exams.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 21
Mantra: Suethor, what is UP with you and writing disjointed sentences? Can you PLEASE focus on the topic for ONE second? You're not a goldfish! Surely, you can do better than this!
NG55: By the way, did I ever mention that there's a newspaper sitting next to me?
To her surprise a boy and a girl entered the office.
Mantra: (Naomi) W-w-what? Students!? In a school!? What is this world coming to?
NG55: I don't understand why she's so surprised. It's a SCHOOL, you bint!
The boy was chatting animatedly. The girl was trying really hard not to seem exasperated.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 23
Mantra: Well, she must be failing miserably, then, if this moron of a Sue can tell instant that she's faking it.
Nami caught their names. Mike and Bella.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 13
Mantra: ...
THIS IS WHY IMMORTALITY SUCKS! I CAN'T EVEN COMMIT SUICIDE TO ESCAPE THE PAIN.
She remained silent, not wanting to be noticed.
Mantra: If you really didn't want to be noticed, why didn't you buy a less attention-grabbing car? Or even take the bus? What, can't lower yourself to the level of the plebs?
NG55: Because she'll throw a fit if she's ignored.
The numerous plants provided a good cover for her green clothes.
Mantra: Man, the military is so stupid. Why do you even need computer-printed, camouflaged uniform when a few potted plants will do the trick?
NG55: You want to be in the jungle, Sue? That can be arranged! *Keyboards her to the dungeon*
Bella’s expression was easy to read. Her big brown eyes gave away everything.
Mantra: *Laughs heartily* This Suethor, a Twilight fangirl, just unknowingly called Edward stupid. This is the greatest shit EVER!
NG55: Pbbbttt!!! *Rolls over laughing* Holy crap, you're right!! Haha!! Oooohh my ribs!!!
Mike, on the other hand, didn’t need to be read. He voiced his emotions out loud.
Mantra: *Wryly* And honesty must be condemned, I see.
NG55: Poor Mike. He's a nice, easygoing guy and he gets so abused for no reason even in fanfics!
He was obviously crushing on Bella.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 24
Mantra: And that just won't do, will it? No, he must pay attention to YOU, as you are now the Head Sue.
NG55: (Sue) Forget her! She's yesterday's news! Pay attention to ME, damn it!! *Stamps foot*
It seemed he was asking her out, but the brown eyed girl didn’t share his feelings.
Mantra: And she can divine all that because she has special access to the Suethor's ass.
NG55: Wow, you really couldn't consider the fact that Mike may just be fond of Bella, and maybe Bella is troubled by something and hence why she may look exasperated? You don't know them. You don't know what's going on. So HOW does that work?!!?
Naomi began to feel bad for her. Nami could tell Bella wanted to keep Mike’s friendship, but nothing more.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 14
Mantra: Of course, the boy being rejected and having his heart broken isn't worth her sympathy! He's not one of the Beautiful People!
NG55: No, Sue! You know nothing! This is your first bloody day at school and you’ve only met these people for TEN SECONDS! I don’t care who you are, you DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING! You have no right to judge any of them, because you don’t know the background and context of the issues here! YOU BITCH!
She didn’t want Bella to not have a choice and hurt his feelings.
Mantra: Dear? Look at what world you're in. There is NEVER any choice.
NG55: Look lady, just shut it. You obviously couldn't care less unless it was to benefit youself in the long run.
“Come on, Bella! Why not this Saturday?! I’m free and they have some new movies out.” Mike tried to persuade her. Bella opened her mouth to say something, but Nami stood up from the chair and interrupted.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 15
Mantra: Yes, truly, she is just so unobtrusive and trying her best to blend in. Truly, she doesn't want to draw attention.
“Hi, you must be one of Bella’s friends. I’m really sorry but Bella here promised to show me around town this weekend.”
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 25
Mantra: And how is what you're doing different? You're pressing yourself upon her too, without considering her feelings or even asking for her consent. In fact, you're worse than Mike, because she doesn't even know you!
NG55: That's just imposing and presumptuous! Even if Mike doesn't know that Bella never met Nami before, I think Bella's reactions, in the real world, would give an indication!
They had both turned to look at the girl. Mike’s mouth was slightly opened and Bella’s eyes showed relief and wonder.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 26
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 11 (The relief I could excuse, as canon!Bella DOES treat Mike like the plague, but wonder? Oh yeah, you’re SO wonderful indeed.)
Mantra: And what does she do? Immediately have the canon characters bow down in gratitude and admiration of her.
The Twilight cast is already entirely composed of Sues and Stus, Suethor. You don't need to help them.
“I’m Naomi, but I really prefer Nami. It’s nice to meet you…?” Nami trailed off extending her small pale hand.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 27
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 13
Mantra: Suethor? We get it that your avatar is anorexic and fashionably pale and everything you want to be. You don't HAVE to keep beating us over the head with it.
NG55: Thanks for further insulting naturally pale girls like me. *Pouts*
She already knew his name, but it would be strange for other people.
Mantra: And now you're just asspulling. Stop taking perfectly ordinary things and making them out to be oh so unique. You are not a Special Snowflake.
NG55: Easily, this could be explained with hearing it from another source...but no, asspulling. How lovely.
“I’m…….uh.. Mike. Mike Newton.” The round childish cheeks of the boy turned a pale pink color. He slowly and gently shook her hand.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 14 (Of course, he immediately falls for her. After all, that’s how Bella established HER Sue status in canon! Obviously, the Sue will be copying her and TOPPING her as well.)
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 29
Mantra: Yep, half a chapter in, and she's already supplanted Bella as the Popular and New Girl At School.
NG55: Upstaging the Canon Sue. ...Only Sues could do it. Only Sues...
She was used to it. People had always had the impression she was breakable.
Mantra: Trust me, ALL humans are breakable. I would know.
NG55: What does that have to do with ANYTHING? Enough with the disconnected sentences! I want to eat a muffin now, please.
Mantra: I'm sure this is to set up the romance later, where Emmett will be such a gentle teddy bear to her and coodle her and carry her everywhere because she is just SUCH a fragile flower.
NG55: Emmett!! *Cries* ...I have a feeling he'll be morphed into an asshole bad boy she can change.
Nami smiled a brilliant smile,
NICKNAME MISUSE: 16
Mantra: And Draco smirked a smirky smirk while I glared a glaring glare. I could do this all night, you know.
NG55: And I groaned a groaning groan.
which seemed to stop Mike’s train of thought.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 15 (Immediately assuming that someone is stunned by her beauty instead of just zoning out? Yep.)
Mantra: And she knows that because she's a telepath!
NG55: (Mike) Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh......
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