Ignorance is Bliss: Chapter 10 Part 2
It had started to drizzle again by 7:30. Nami parked her Porsche in front of the school. This time she stopped at the student parking and the car drew a lot more attention then the day before.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 3
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 25
Mantra: ...What, you mean she LEFT her car outside of the reception on the first day of school? What a BITCH!
Twilight Sparkle: You know, you could easily avoid that if you just drove a regular car. Just because you're rich doesn't mean you need to have fancy machines and big houses! ....What am I saying, logic takes the backseat in this.
Guys of all ages started crowding around.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 26
Mantra: Because, as we all know, women simply CAN'T like cars. They're too busy making sandwiches in the kitchen.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, isn't that sexist and a generalization. *Eye roll*
SOS: Of ALL ages? What, you mean there just happened to be infants and senior citizens hanging around your school carpark?
It was similar to a zombie movie. Their eyes were unfocused and their mouths were hanging open. It scared her.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 28
WANGSTMUFFIN: 9
Mantra: Good. Now, tear her apart and eat her.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think that's quite what describes a zombie...but even they sometimes vary from story to story.
NG55: For one thing, they’re usually more attracted to brains than shiny cars.
Next to her slid a red M3 BMW convertible.
Mantra: If you're completely surrounded by people, how can it slide next to you without mowing down several dozen-
Wait.
Vehicular manslaughter is KEWL in this universe.
Never mind.
Twilight Sparkle: Of course it is. I don't think I even need to say why.
Emmett got out of the door that faced Nami and Rosalie exited from the driver’s side. This relaxed Naomi. She wouldn’t have to deal with the zombies alone. Her eyes sparkled.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 4
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 30
Mantra: Oh yes, leaving your 'friends' and future love interest to die at the hands of undead monsters is absolutely the HEIGHT of morality.
Twilight Sparkle: The joke wasn't even funny the first time, Suethor. Stop trying to use it! We know they're really not undead zombies! That would only make it slightly interesting.
“Sweet ride! It’s yours isn’t it?” Nami looked at Rosalie for confirmation.
“Yeah. It’s mine.” She said.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 5
Mantra: (Rosalie) You saw it only yesterday afternoon. Are you retarded or retarded?
Twilight Sparkle: (Rosalie) Notice how I'm acting like a meanie, so that I would be proving how much better you are for Emmett and that all I'm doing is making him unhappy?
“Wow. I didn’t hear it approaching at all. How did you fix it up?” The human girl inquired. Rosalie looked at her for a while.
Mantra: (Rosalie) I didn't fix it up. You're sitting inside your own car, surrounded by chatting people. Of COURSE you can't hear it.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, great. Now I know what's coming. The ever-typical how dare she be mean to the Sue like that.
SOS: And WHICH human girl? The Twilight universe is actually populated mostly by humans, you know. Being human isn’t such a distinguishing characteristic that you can use it as a descriptor.
She was surprised another female shared her interest in cars, most of all it being a human.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 32
SOS: 'It?' 'IT?' FUCK YOU!
Mantra: Dear, if you went out AT ALL, you'd realise PLENTY of fucking women were into cars. Why do you fucking THINK men are obsessed with expensive cars? It's because it helps them pick up GIRLS.
Twilight Sparkle: And did you forget Rosalie is a grease monkey herself? Besides, you're in the entertainment and modelling industry. I think that would be a driving factor in knowing that women can be just as passionate about cars.
“Oh, it’s all in the engine, but also the tire mechanism…” She went on about the small parts. Nami took mental notes in order to tune up her own cars.
“Am I the only one who thinks that this is beyond weird?” Asked Alice happily.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 6
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 16
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 34
SOS: Yes.
Mantra: Yes.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes.
She and the eldest Cullen brothers were standing a little way away from the cars where a bunch of teenagers crowded examining the stylish machines.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 36
Mantra: Ahahahaha, yeah, NO. The most they'd think is that you're all a bunch of snobby freaks who never have to work and were cocooned in a greenhouse by your parents growing up. If you drove that around casually, people would treat you with contempt more than awe.
Twilight Sparkle: Wonder when the "Great and Powerful" Trixie came to Forks...
“What’s going on?” Asked Edward, who had just arrived with Bella.
“Rose and Nami are hitting it off.” Jasper said.
Mantra: *Raises eyebrow* Jasper, stop making the fic sound more interesting than it is.
Twilight Sparkle: Hitting it off? Not only were their dialogue bits very few, but I didn't see any kind of "hitting it off". It seemed more like grudging civility.
Mantra: Or more like shameless whoring on the Sue’s part and adulation and subservience on Rosalie’s part.
He and Edward seemed equally unsurprised by the event. But Bella thought otherwise.
“What? But how? I thought Rosalie doesn’t like…” Bella’s mood immediately clouded. Why could Rosalie talk with Naomi, but not her? Rosalie basically loathed Bella.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 19
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 38
Mantra: Because you're no longer the Head Sue of this universe. Go ahead and bawl your eyes out. You can't possibly be as annoying as this Sue, anyways.
Twilight Sparkle: A feat in itself, but that's pretty much the case. Despite that, I would have thought Rosalie would hate Naomi more. At least, to Bella's credit, she isn't trying to steal away Emmett. Naomi on the other hand...
“She doesn’t hate you.” Edward told her soothingly guessing her thoughts. He gently rubbed her back.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 20
Mantra: (Edward) You just piss her off and disgust her.
Twilight Sparkle: *Shivers* It’s really not romantic when someone treats you like a small child…
I thought you couldn’t read my mind.” She muttered darkly. He smoothed out the crease between her brows and smiled at her. “No, but I can read your expressions.”
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 21
Mantra: Yes, and her expressions are perpetually stuck in 'Dull Surprise mode'.
SOS: (Edward) And you must never wear any expression that I don’t like. Don’t you know women are basically accessories? Wipe that frown off of your face or I shall have to make you fall down the stairs.
He gently kissed her nose and then her lips. This caused a deep blush to appear on her cheeks. He chuckled softly. Nami watched from where she and Rosalie stood. Her expression was blank.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 23
NICKNAME MISUSE: 7
WANGSTMUFFIN: 10
Mantra: ...How thrilling.
SOS: If your protagonist literally couldn't care less, then why describe it? Why should we care? Why is this in the fic? What, did you just want to make us vomit THAT badly?
Twilight Sparkle: That was pointless yet again. Suethor, if there's nothing to say about a particular moment, then don't write it.
“It’s disgusting isn’t it? What’s the point of him obsessing over a human? He nearly caused us to move because of her.” Rosalie told Naomi.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 24
Mantra: ...He also caused the Volturi to nearly wipe out your entire coven because of her. Did you forget that?
Twilight Sparkle: What does this have to do with anything? To make her assume the Scary Sue role even more? Rosalie understandably dislikes Bella and isn't afraid to say so. But here, it just seems as if she's focusing on petty reasons for it, just to make Rosalie look bad.
Mantra: Bella is the ultimate self-insert and thus helped the Suethor fulfil her fantasies. Rosalie is the canonical wife of her lust object. See the difference?
Twilight Sparkle: *Facehoof* Bucking figures.
She had forgotten that Nami too was a human, even if only for a second.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 8
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 39 (For implying that Rosalie would change her behaviour for the Sue’s sake.)
Mantra: And she has the audacity to call herself a Bacon Person. You ever saw Edward accidentally thinking of Bella as a vampire on the second day of school? Suethor, MEYER had more consistency than you.
Twilight Sparkle: And considering the numerous inconsistencies in the books...
“Yes, I agree with you, but nothing can stand in the way of ‘true’ love.” She said this with distaste and a cold smile.
WANGSTMUFFIN: 12
SHAMELESS SELF PRASIE: 40 (Because we all know exactly what this is foreshadowing.)
Mantra: Awww, is the widdle Sue jealous?
SOS: Yeah, nothing can stand in the way of 'true' love. That's why you HAD to purchase a second hand Canon Character Clone for this fic, instead of the real Emmett.
Twilight Sparkle: Weird, this is reminding me of something...
NG55: You mean Princess of Shadows and the sequel?
Twilight Sparkle: Yep.
Rosalie liked this girl more and more. She was so similar to herself.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 42
Mantra: Dude, just how many traits of canon characters are you going to plagiarise? You already have Edward, Bella, Alice, and Jasper crammed into you. Do you have to steal from ROSALIE too?
SOS: Well, considering that Meyer INTENDED for Rosalie to be nothing but shallow and vain...how appropriate!
Twilight Sparkle: I could go on to why that makes no sense, but I won't even bother.
The two girls returned to the rest of the group. Edward glared at Rosalie. She pretended not to notice.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 43 (Even though Naomi AGREED with Rosalie, I don’t see her being glared at.)
Mantra: Why? What, is Rosalie just EVERYONE's bitch?
Twilight Sparkle: Considering how messed up her character already is and will be? Probably.
“That’s a really cute outfit.” Said Alice dancing over to Naomi. Emmett noticed how the grey sweater clung tightly to Nami’s small body. How her collar bone…
NICKNAME MISUSE: 9
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 25
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 47
Mantra: (Emmett) Damn, I know Alice dresses like a hooker all the time, but even she didn't go THAT far on a normal school day!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not an expert on fashion, but what kind of material for sweaters would actually cling to your body like a second skin?
Mantra: Glue?
Twilight Sparkle: True...Well, unless it's soaked, then I've got nothing. Rarity?
Rarity: *Waltzes in* No, darling. No such sweater of any kind could be that clingy, even the thinnest. It is either far too small for her or it is soaking wet. Wool sweaters in the heat of the sun do shrink, and since we know Forks isn't prominently sunny, I think you have your answer. *Waltzes out*
“Thanks. I got it from VS. I had a photo shoot with a similar outfit and I liked it.” Said Nami tugging at the thin grey material.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 10
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 48 (No, please, keep loudly talking about your modelling career in a crowded car park with crowds of students around you. I’m interested.)
Mantra: Since when did VS start selling school uniforms from Japan?
SOS: Thin grey material? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of a sweater?
Nami caught Edward staring at Emmett, who had turned his head to the side. ‘What’s up with him?’ She asked Edward. ‘Nothing.’ He answered simply which made Nami suspicious.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 26
NICKNAME MISUSE: 12
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 50
Mantra: (Sue) You guys had BETTER not be planning a revolt against me. Especially you, Emmett. You're doomed to being my bitch for the rest of eternity.
Twilight Sparkle: And because she's the Sue, of course everything going on has to concern her.
Edward had caught Emmett thinking about Naomi. He remembered when similar thought had passed through his own mind the night at the restaurant when Bella had been wearing his favorite blue shirt. It had looked so good on her…
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 52
Mantra: Yeah, as if Edward, the perfect Mormon, would condone thinking about dirty, dirty things like bare collarbones. Didn't you SEE how much he panicked when Bella hit on him in Eclipse?
SOS: I'm fairly certain 'Oh hey, that girl's clothes doesn't even cover her collarbones.' is different than, 'Oh my GOD, I'm going to make sure I watch her sleep ESPECIALLY closely tonight.'
Twilight Sparkle: Wow...I'm actually getting bored. While reading. Um, does ANYTHING happen?
Nami cleared her throat and gave him a look. He smiled sheepishly. ‘Sorry.’
NICKNAME MISUSE: 13
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 27
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 53
Mantra: My guess is? No. Nothing is going to happen.
Twilight Sparkle: Uggh, this is boring! I don't even know what to do! *Eats a muffin*
Everyone seemed really annoyed at the two of them
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 28
Mantra: ...*Gapes* Is that...?
SOS: A LOGICAL REACTION! OH GOD, WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?
Twilight Sparkle: Wow! I can't believe it! A logical reaction! And it even makes perfect sense in context! Wow! ....Wait. This isn't going to last long, is it?
"Aren’t you cold? It’s raining.” Said Bella. Just looking at Nami made her shudder.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 14
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 54
Mantra: *Sighs* Nope.
SOS: How many times has she said that she gets off on hypothermia, yet? We're all fucking tired of listening to how OMG, the Sue is TOTALLY the secret identity of Dr. Freeze. Stop bring it up!
Twilight Sparkle: She's wearing a sweater! How is she cold?!
“I told you, I’ve never gotten cold in my life.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 55
Mantra: That's because you didn't try hard enough.
Twilight Sparkle: Am I supposed to believe that? I'm a pony, I have a coat and thick skin, but that doesn't make sense! Unless a human being has some kind of an immunity to feeling and pain, then no, I don't buy that she never felt cold. Liking the cold and feeling it are not the same thing.
Actually right now I feel too warm, I might start sweating any minute.”
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 56
SOS: I can fix that. *Holds up liquid nitrogen tank*
Twilight Sparkle: Oh for Celestia's sake, will you stop?! I know what you're trying to do, Suethor. This is just getting old, and it makes no sense.
She smiled at Bella who could only stare. “What do I have something on my face?” She asked worried.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 57 (Just how many time is her ~beauty~ going to strike someone dumb? That happens frequently enough to warrant a count on its own.)
Mantra: No, FUCK YOU. You KNOW how unusual this is. You KNOW how uncommon it is. You're just BAITING people to start praising you for your SPESHULness. FUCK YOU. You're nothing but a freak.
Twilight Sparkle: How would there be something on your face in this span of time without you noticing?
Bella blushed. “No, you’re just really pretty.” She said.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 29
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 58
Mantra: ...Yeah, I don't care. I can't even muster up the rage at this point. *To Twilight Sparkle* Say, want something to eat?
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, sure. *Tummy rumbles*
Mantra: What would you like? *Prods SOS* Hey, get me some pop corn, will you?
Twilight Sparkle: I can always go for a daisy sandwich and some hay fries!
NG55: Coming right up! *Keyboards some in*
Now it was Naomi’s turn to blush. She didn’t know people saw her like that.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 59 (Oh, isn’t she SUCH a modest girl?)
Mantra: Sure, that's why they made you a model - because they didn't think you were pretty. *Toss a pop corn up and catches it with her mouth*
Twilight Sparkle: No, I don't buy it. You are a MODEL. You are pretty and you KNOW IT. You make sure to tell us that every single chance you get! Even Rarity isn't this "in your face" vain. At least she actually has depth and participates in other kinds of moments that have nothing to do with her looks, and can still be in-character. No, Suethor. This is all playing the typical "I'm beautiful but don't know it or say it" card. Which doesn't work because we have seen that she thinks highly of herself. And again, she's a model.
Mantra: Hey, don't fret it. Eat your food.
Twilight Sparkle: Gladly! *Happily eats her sandwich* Yummy...
‘Total understatement.’ Though Emmett despite himself. Edward raised an eyebrow at him.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 61
Mantra: (Edward) Alas, he, too, has fallen.
SOS: Nope, look at that 'despite himself' there. He's still fighting, alright
Twilight Sparkle: It's not going to last, is it?
Mantra: Nope. It never lasts...
“Thanks, Bella.” The bell rang. The group dispersed. Nami started towards the English Literature classroom. When she walked the skirt flowed around her. If her sweater wasn’t holding it down, it would’ve showed a lot more then her bare legs.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 15
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 63
Mantra: ...That's what you get for buying your clothes at Hookers-R-Us.
Twilight Sparkle: Moreover, why does that matter? Really? Why did we need to know that little detail? Oh, right. To show how oh-so tantalizing she is.
“Why didn’t you wait for me?” Complained Emmett from her left. She smiled up at him. “Because I knew you would have no problem catching up.” She said.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 65 (And she always has the perfect retort ready, too!)
Mantra: That doesn't excuse you being a bitch, you know. Hey, can I at least get some coke here?
SOS: *Huffs impatiently and Keyboards a can for her*
Twilight Sparkle: Wait for him? Um... there was no indication that they were planning to walk together to begin with.
They went inside the classroom. Nami was greeted by most of the class. They seemed surprised that she was with Emmett.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 16
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 67
Mantra: What, walking into a classroom together automatically signifies that they're TOGETHER now? Wouldn't most people just assume they happened to arrive at the same time?
Twilight Sparkle: That's just silly. Unless they're holding hands or are attached at the hip, I hardly think that two students who are in the same class coming in at the same time would be considered a couple.
They finally reached their desk and Nami sat down thoughtfully. “Do you remember what I wrote in the last sentence yesterday in French?” She asked him quietly.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 32
NICKNAME MISUSE: 17
Mantra: No, because I don't give a shit. It's all the same self-praising, whiny crap anyways
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no, not this again. *Facehoof*
“Yes.” “Well, you know all about me so I wondered if you can share your story.” She looked at him with wide eager eyes.
Mantra: No, he can't. Because MOST people don't spill their entire life story to a complete stranger after ONE day of meeting them, and especially not in a crowded classroom.
Twilight Sparkle: I know I certainly didn't when I first met my friends and even when I accepted them as friends. This kind of thing takes time. And getting to know someone doesn’t just mean ranting at them or getting them to rant at you - you actually have to interact with them on a daily basis. And really, while this kind of thing does work differently for everypony, there's no way someone would spout out their entire life story, just like that, after barely knowing the person.
Emmett’s resolve to not become too friendly with Naomi Delacour crumpled away in an instant. He sighed. She was just too adorable to refuse.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 70
Mantra: Or too bitchy and nagging.
SOS: Or too Sue-ish. Same thing, really.
Twilight Sparkle: Too adorable to refuse? No, that would be Fluttershy.
“Okay then, what do you want to know?” He didn’t have anything to hide, but he felt as if the more they got to know each other the closer they became. This scared him.
WANGSTMUFFIN: 13
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 71 (Of course, after ONE day of knowing each other, Emmett is already ready to spill everything to her.)
Mantra: And rightly so. *Shudders* I'd rather die than have a Sue latch onto me...
Twilight Sparkle: Of COURSE you become closer as you get to know each other! That’s the whole PURPOSE of getting to know someone in the first place!
Nami thought for a bit. “How about your age?” She said the words quietly, so that even if there were potential eavesdroppers around they wouldn’t be able to hear anything.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 18
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 33
Mantra: You're in a CLASSROOM. Everyone is squashed against everyone else. There IS no privacy.
SOS: ...Oh yeah, you just HAD to bring that up. And we were doing so well ignoring the paedophilic undertones, too...
“ Eighteen.” He said at once. She sighed. This was going to be harder then she imagined, “I mean your real age.” She hissed, a little irritated by his evasiveness.
Mantra: That's not evasiveneess. That's PRUDENCE.
Twilight Sparkle: And he isn't exactly wrong, either.
“I was turned when I was twenty.” He whispered back. The teacher had begun talking. Both of them were glad that they were sitting in the last desk.
Mantra: Because god forbid they talk about this during lunch! Or, perish the thought, after school!
Twilight Sparkle: *Facehoof* Shouldn't they still be taking their studies seriously? This is unacceptable! This is the reason you shouldn't sit with friends during class!
“Oooh, an older man.” She joked. Emmett grinned. “Although you don’t look it.” “What does that mean?” He inquired. “Well, when you smile, you just look so cute that I can’t help but want to cuddle you.” She smirked.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 73
Mantra: Yes, keep on condescending to him. Just don't be surprised when he wakes you up in the middle of the night one day and strangles you whilst shouting, 'CUDDLE THIS!'
Twilight Sparkle: And to think looking younger than you do is supposed to be a compliment. This is just condescending. I get that Emmett is a big teddy bear behind his muscles, but come on.
This girl was going to drive him nuts.
Mantra: Too late.
SOS: She's already driven me nuts in, oh I don't know, THE FIRST CHAPTER.
First, for an unknown reason he was attracted to her and then she goes and says something so adorable. He felt like he was the one who wanted to cuddle her. Wait, wait. Rewind that. He had just admitted to himself that he was attracted to her. Great.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 77
Mantra: You JUST realised that someone is dicking around with your mind?
SOS: I want to cuddle my teddy bear, but that doesn't mean I want to fuck it.
These thought only took a second to cross his mind, but Nami managed to notice the frustrated look in his golden eyes.
“What’s wrong?” She missed nothing, especially when it came to vampires.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 19
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 34
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 80
Twilight Sparkle: Missed nothing? When it comes to Vampires? Um, your only experience with vampires has been Ian, and the Volturi, both of which were short periods of time. How can you be so sure about that?
“Nothing, I was just aiming for more manliness.” He told her,
Mantra: Fuck you. Emmett doesn't aim for manliness. He IS manliness.
Twilight Sparkle: And ‘frustrated’ and ‘manly’ are not exactly the same thing…
but she wasn’t fooled. Nami didn’t want to push him so she changed the subject. “Are you and Rosalie together?” She asked. There were no hidden intentions in her question, but as soon as it was said, she felt nervous about his answer.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 20
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 82 (As if Emmett would be interested in you even if he was single.)
Mantra: Oh, bullshit. Why the fuck would you be nervous if you didn't mean anything by that question?
Twilight Sparkle: No hidden intentions?! Give me a break! Your sole purpose in this story is to be his new love interest!
“No.”
Mantra: ...*Sighs* I didn't want to do this, but...I see I have no choice.
FUCK! YOU! WHORE!
Twilight Sparkle: What do you mean no?! You two are MARRIED! Oh great, I knew it! All of that stupid inexplicable unhappiness before the Sue came along is coming in with a vengeance! Oh wow, I cannot WAIT to hear the explanation for this.
He couldn’t stop the word from slipping out. He didn’t know why, but this answer had come so naturally. He felt no regret.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 35
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 83
Mantra: I see the explanation is just good old mind-control and Sin Thine Ass Off.
Twilight Sparkle: You have got to be kidding me! You knew her for one day and already you're willing to toss aside your wife for this?! Your wife of over 70 years!
But was it the right answer?
Mantra: NO!
SOS: NOOOO!
Twilight Sparkle: NO!
NG55: NOOOO!!
He and Rosalie weren’t together, but there was still something there.
Mantra: AND THAT THING WAS CALLED MARRIAGE!
Twilight Sparkle: What is this supposed to mean?! They're married! This story takes place after the events of New Moon! That means that they're still together!
Or was it just his feelings that lingered?
Mantra: YES. YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER. FUCKING FEELINGS.
Twilight Sparkle: You've been married to her longer than both of you were even alive! You thought she was an angel when she saved your life! You have feelings for her, Emmett! How can you suddenly change your mind when some other girl you don't even know comes around?!
“Oh, I see.” Nami said awkwardly. She was staring intently at her desk tracing a pen mark with a thin pale finger. She could feel the heat in her cheeks. She was almost sure that he could see it, which made it all the more embarrassing.
NICKNAME MISUSE: 21
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 37
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 88
Mantra: (Sue) Wow...um...even I didn't expect your characterisation to be warped so fast...
Twilight Sparkle: Embarrassing for YOU? Why don't you try putting yourself in his shoes for a change?! Oh wait, I forgot. You're incapable of that because you don't know the true meanings of friendship!!
Emmett did notice, and to his surprise he felt happy when he saw the pink color sprinkling her cheeks. His mind didn’t even process that the reason her cheeks were red was because of the blood running through her frail body. He didn’t once think of killing her.
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 93
Mantra: That's a situation that needs to be remedied immediately.
SOS: *Hoists chainsaw* I'm ready to go anytime.
Twilight Sparkle: Can they stop detracting from the matter at hand here?! Oh no, we have to go back to the pointless dribble!
The only thing he could do was stare at the profile of her flawless face. Suddenly she turned her face towards him. Her green eyes piercing. They were dancing with…was it happiness? A timid smile wasplaying on her smooth lips.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 38
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 100
Mantra: Well, yeah, you know what? I have huge boobs. I win.
Twilight Sparkle: Um...boobs? What? *Tilts head* ...Never mind. The point is that now she's timid all over again? Come on! Can't she pick a side and commit?!
Mantra: *Grins* Oh, you have NO idea how much I want to introduce you to the wonderful world of boobies but...yeah, I don't do kids.
Twilight Sparkle: *Deadpan* I'm a mare, not a filly.
Mantra: You’re drawn like a three year old. Thank, but no.
Emmett was completely taken aback. He hadn’t realized his one syllable answer would have such an effect on her. He somewhat regretted it now.
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 39
Mantra: AS YOU SHOULD.
SOS: No. You should regret it because of what you had done to Rosalie. The Sue's perfectly FINE.
Twilight Sparkle: Of course, it’d have an effect on her! You’re not that stupid! She’s been trying to get into your pants from page one, and you just told her you value her more than your wife of seventy years! What were you expecting?
Regretted it because nothing could happen. Regretted it because she was human and he was vampire. It was impossible for them, no matter how strongly he felt.
WANGSTMUFFIN: 17
Mantra: NO. What the fuck is up with this taboo shit? You're not having an interracial relationship in the 20s. IT'S FUCKING OKAY. Look at Edward and Bella. Hell, the Volturi was okay with her and Ian! YOU CAN'T BE TOGETHER BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING MARRIED! AND BECAUSE SHE'S A CHILD!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, but then you'd think he could easily divorce Rosalie to be with her, right? NO! You don't just do that the minute some other piece of candy comes along! Not only is that far too easy, but it also brings in the "If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you" factor! Honestly!
SOS: That's the horrible, horrible end to the chapter, and I have a feeling that things are only going to go downhill from here. The Suethor also posted a picture of Naomi wearing a school uniform, but thankfully, the internet has decided to be merciful on us today and the link to that picture is broken.
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh...that was terrible. But at least I learned something. Can someone take a letter?
SOS: Sure! *Readies notepad and pen*
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you! *Dictating* Dear Princess Celestia, I learned today that if you're happily married to someone for a long time, you should always try to work it out. Sometimes it's not easy, especially when someone tempting comes along. But when that happens, you have to remember what's important, and realize and appreciate what you have. Moreover, to work on your marriage before you make any hasty decisions. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.
SOS: *Finishes scribbling and tears the page off* There you go!
Mantra: Oh, write something for me too. "Dear Suethor: Fuck you. From: the world."
SOS: Yeeeah, no. I don't flame.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you! *Takes the letter* I'm off to have this mailed! Bye now!
NG55: I don't flame, either...well folks, I guess until next time, then?
FINAL COUNT:
SHE ADVERBED ADVERBIALLY: 39 (About 1.66% or every 60 words, which is a lot better than average, granted. Who wants to bet this won’t last long?)
SHAMELESS SELF PRAISE: 100 (4.3% or every 23.5 words. Get used to these kinds of numbers, guys. Because it ain’t going anywhere down as soon as the romance gets going.)
WANGSTMUFFIN: 17 (I WAS going to take this count out, but then I realised the Suethor is trying to create pasted-on-yey conflict, I predict this count is going to skyrocket next chapter. So….it’s gonna stay for now. And to be fair, 17 cases of wangsting is a lot in one chapter, especially based on such stupid reasons.)
NICKNAME MISUSE: 21 (Out of 31 uses. See, this is why you don’t give your main character a nickname unless you know what you’re doing.)
Go Forward to: Chapter 11, Part 1
Go Back to: Chapter 10, Part 1