One Piece: Bound For Glory - Chapter 9 Part 2:
Once David got back up
Brian: Goddamn it!
he looked around to find his crew, but they were already gone,
William: His crew is becoming more and more likeable…which is worrying, because not one chapter ago, they were slaughtering thousands of innocents whilst laughing and joking about it. Damn, I guess we just hate David that much…
Brian: I’m still confused as to how that is even possible…
"Awww...I'm alone. Oh well." David shrugged it off and walked into town.
Brian: THE POWER OF- Oh, why do I even fucking bother. Clearly, the Stuthor has no idea what friendship is.
William: Which makes it even more preposterous that he is writing a One Piece fic.
The Voice: You know, this would be a great opportunity for character growth. Throughout the story, we’ve seen a callous disregard for sentient life on the part of the Stuthor. So, now, when his blatant dismissal of the safety of his crew blows up in his face, and he is left alone, his only friends having abandoned him…it’s the perfect opportunity for him to reflect on the things he has done and why he needs to change. If this Stuthor was a good writer, he would use this chapter and the next few showing David having an epiphany and doing a variety of things trying to redeem himself and win his crew back. Not only would it make him a much more heroic and rounded character, it would also negate the Unfortunate Implications in his recruitment methods. And from here on, the story can take on an approach much closer to canon. But alas…
I think the thing that pisses me off the most about bad fiction is the wasted potential, which certainly explains why I hate Twilight so much.
William: Even disregarding the potential for character growth and redemption, jus t having him angst a bit as his abandonment would make him a much more human character. Humans are social creatures, most cannot live on their own. This is why solitary confinement is one of the worst forms of torture imaginable. No one, absolutely no one, would be able to handle all of their friends leaving them in a strange land without a break down. Him just brushing the whole thing off, as if he was told that it had just started raining, make him an even more flat and despicable character, if possible. Even a sociopath would definitely be upset or enrage at the loss of things he had taken a particular interest to. David just plainly does not care. It doesn’t matter the least to him that he has no one now, and that snaps my suspension of disbelief more than the random boat from nowhere.
Brian: It’s not just suspension of disbelief, this makes me want to punch his teeth in even more. I don’t think I’ll feel this angry if the Stuthor wrote a graphic scene of him torturing a little girl to death. No matter how he acquired them, he had three devoted friends who were willing to go confront a Shichibukai with him, and fight down a whole army so he can have his spectacular showdown. And he doesn’t fucking care. There are millions of people out there who would kill for even one friend that loyal, and he just threw three of them away, and doesn’t give a shit. Damn, this Stuthor is fucked up.
SOCIOPATHY: 8
"I'm hungry..." David sighed
William: Yes, after being stranded on a strange island with all my loved ones and friends abandoning me, my biggest concern would be mild hunger too.
The Voice: This is another trait that the Stuthor tried to plagiarise from One Piece, and he still fails. Luffy is constantly hungry because have you SEEN how hyperactive that kid is? David, on the other hand, has spent most of his time crammed into a small boat that is manageable by four people. It makes absolutely no sense why he would be anymore famished than the rest of his crew. Luffy also had an obsession with food because his power means that he literally could eat however much he wishes. There is no limit to the amount of food he can eat, so of course he indulges himself. David does not have powers. He is perfectly capable of eating so much that he vomits. Of course, I’m not saying that you need superpowers to love food, but, in this case, obsession with food is his ONLY character trait. He has nothing outside of it, and this is why the Fridge Logic stands out so much more.
Brian: He has this thing where he always focuses on himself too. In any situation, his reaction is always centred on himself. The first thing that comes to mind is always his reactions and feeling at the moment. Right after his crew has to fight through an entire army, and he discovers that they actually survived, what was his biggest concern? Finding a restaurant because he’s hungry. After finding a crew of fishmen harassing his only friend at the time, what is his immediate reaction? Fawn over the fishmen because he thinks they’re freaks to be stared at, not even questioning his friend what is going on. When a strange girl attack his only crew member at the time, what does he do? Ask her to join because…God told him to. Never, not once in this entire fic, has he spared a single thought for his crew. Not on single time. The people back in my old pack showed each other more camaraderie than this.
as he scratched his stomach while walking through town,
William: Scratched? How is that going to help with hunger? The stereotypical motion is RUBBING your stomach. Your stomach does not ITCH when you are hungry, trust me, I would know.
"We need a cook so I don't have to do all this walking and thinking."
William: WHAT.
Brian: HOW.
William: What the FUCK do you think a cook is? It’s someone who prepares FOOD for you. How the FUCK is a COOK going to eliminate the need for you to walk or think?
Brian: It’s fucking walking and thinking. Just bear with it. Everyone does. I don’t see why you’re so eager to remove the need to do the two most basic things in life.
William: Actually, is he saying here that walking and thinking at the both time is a hassle for him?
Brian: Well, considering his intelligence level…okay, I’m still surprised. I didn’t think being that stupid was even possible.
William: The main character here just confessed that walking and thinking at the same time is too much for him to handle, and the solution to this problem is clearly a COOK. I never thought I’d live to see a main character more stupid than Bella Swan.
The Voice: I know how shocking this is, but I think we’re focused on the wrong direction. They don’t have a cook. At the end of the last chapter, the Stuthor said that they were heading for the Grand Line, and yet they still don’t have a cook. In fact, they don’t even have a permanent ship. They don’t have a navigator or anyone on hand who can fix the ship if it gets damaged. The main character is actually going to enter grand line with absolutely NO ONE on his crew who can handle an emergency situation. They don’t even have a fucking cook when they’re about to be on the sea for weeks at a time. And he honestly thinks this is the right condition to enter Grand Line in.
Also, there is no 'we'. Your crew has abandoned you.
Brian: I’m sorry. The stupid was so all-encompassing that my brain died a little there.
TOO DUMB TO LIVE: 3 (One for thinking a cook will solve his problems, and another one for not having one already.)
Then as he walked past an alley way something caught his eye.
The Voice: A silver glint flickered at the peripheral of his vision, and before he could turn to get a better look, a Spork was embedded in his chest.
Brian: I was just getting a bit squicked thinking about what he usually finds interesting or amusing…seriously, what is happening in that alley?
It seemed like a black tail that had a white tiped and seemd somewhat fluffed up.
William: …What?
Brian: There was a tail in the alley way?
William: There was JUST a tail? Lying on the ground all by itself?
Brian: Well, that certainly explains why it caught his attention. He seems to be the type to enjoy dismemberment.
The Voice: Also, it’s ‘fluffy’, not ‘fluffed up’. That implies that the fluff was artificial and someone deliberate make the tail look that way.
THESAURUS RAPE: 4
"Hmmm..." David looked at it and thought.
Brian: Here, let me fix that: ‘Hmm…’ David looked at it and attempted to think. There, isn't that MUCH better?
William: What concerns me is that thinking is so unusual for this character, the Stuthor has to spell it out for us. Seeing as he’s the main character of the story, ideally, half the narration should be his thoughts and opinions. But no. He thinks so little that the Stuthor has to announce it with fanfares and make his thoughts a separate paragraph because this is such a rare occasion.
ONOMATOPOEIAS ARE COOL: 4
"Tail...animal...cat?
Brian: …Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a character more stupid than the entire Twilight cast put together. Now, please kill me.
William: …It takes him so long to take the logical step of ‘if there is a tail, there must be an animal attached to it’ that the Stuthor has to put an ellipse between it to summarise the time spent in between.
TOO DUMB TO LIVE: 4
No...dog?
Brian: I’m wondering where the tail is placed. He saw it as he was walking past an alley, so the animal would be in the alley, right? So why doesn’t he just go in and have a look? In fact, from where he’s standing (opposite the alley), he should be able to see down the alley.
William: Basically, if he moved his eyes a few centimetres up, he’d see exactly what the animal is. FAIL.
TOO DUMB TO LIVE: 5
Naw...Moneky?
Brian: Dude, did his thoughts magically get an accent out of nowhere?
William: His thoughts have spelling mistakes too.
Brian: Also, don’t dog and monkey tails look different? I’m just saying…I guess it depends on the breed, but most monkeys carry their tails differently too.
William: Have you SEEN the way this character thinks? And you honestly expect him to be intelligent enough to figure out that different animals have different tails?
TOO DUMB TO LIVE: 6
Nah...Ox...oooxx...OX!"
William: …I have nothing.
TOO DUMB TO LIVE: 10 (If you honestly don’t think this entire scene deserves this score, seek help.)
DEPARTMENT OF REDUNDANCY DEPARTMENT: 4
"Food!" David yelled as he grabbed the tail and raised it up high.
Brian: WHAT? Okay, okay. I know I’ve said that far too many times, but seriously, that’s my only reaction right now. WHAT.
William: Allow me to clarify. In the centre of a town, surrounded by restaurants and other potential food sources, he chooses to pounce on a random cow in an alley way. Despite the fact that you don’t see wild cows pretty much anywhere, and it obviously belongs to someone if it’s in the middle of town. Despite the fact that it’s still alive and uncooked, and he can get steak in any restaurant using the loot from the Shark King. Despite the fact that the cow could very well be used for milking, meaning that it is not bred for food and will not taste nice. Despite the fact that it could be used for labour, and killing and eating him could very well be destroying the only possession of some poor farmer. Nope. The protagonist has decided that THAT is what he shall eat. Fuck whoever actually owns the cow, he’s decided what he wants to do, and no one is allowed to disobey him.
The Voice: It also makes me wonder how he plans to eat the thing. Does he have any idea how to skin a cow? How to cut the meat? How is he going to build a fire to roast a how cow in the middle of town? By lighting people’s houses on fire? And what is he doing yanking the thing’s tail? Should he be pouncing on the actual animal itself?
TOO DUMB TO LIVE: 11 (I’m not giving this a sociopathy point because I think this action is rooted more in ignorance than malice.)
"Ouch!" A voice yelled
ONOMATOPOEIAS ARE COOL: 5
The Voice: Yes, the mysterious, disembodied voice that shows up in all kinds of bad fics. I think this guy is featured in Rebecca Sherwood as well. Also, ‘ouch’ is something people say under their breaths. If it hurts enough that they’re throwing all restraint to the wind and yelling in pain, then the sound that comes out is definitely not ‘ouch’.
THESAURUS RAPE: 5
as David was kicked into a store.
Brian: …so, what? We have a talking cow?
The Voice: Wait and see.
Brian: *Shrugs* At least he’s getting punished for his stupidity.
The Voice: You wish.
"Oww...why do I keep getting hit.." David complained
Brian: I dunno, maybe because you’re an ASSHOLE?
William: Or just because you’re STUPID? Also, here we have it again. He was hit for a very good reason, for not thinking and trying to destroy someone else’s property for his own satisfaction. He was being a sociopathic idiot, and yet when he got his just fruits, he whines about how it’s not FAIR. He never considers how much he may hurt others by stealing that cow and killing it. He never even considers how he went crashing through a store, destroying someone’s only livelihood and possibly killing someone in the process. All he focuses on is his own desires and pain. He never even considers the possible consequences of an action until he is hurt by it, at which point he condemns the whole cosmos for ‘bullying’ him. This Stuthor obviously wrote this story in a very short period of time, the last update date and the published date on this story is only one month apart, which means that all of these reactions are perfectly natural to him. More than that, this is the default reaction he has too. When presented with such a situation, this is honestly how he thinks. And that is more terrifying than any of the torturing we’ve seen the main characters do.
The Voice: And need I even talk about how unrealistic it is for him to not be even mildly phased by crashing through a concrete wall? He’s not even out of wind. In fact, this is pretty much the same reaction I have to a skinned knee.
FAUX MADE OF IRON: 2
ONOMATOPOEIAS ARE COOL: 6
holding his bandaged stomach.
Brian: Bandaged? What?
William: I would assume it’s wounds from his fight with the Shark King except…the Shark King only used his fists during the fight. He had a sword, but he discarded it at the start of the battle and never used it again. Any injury done would be strictly internal, because the impact was blunt. So I have no idea what he’s doing with bandages around his stomach.
The Voice: Some wandering swordsmen a long time ago used to go around wearing bandages because it was easy to clean and a lot harder to damage than actual clothes and, you know, a lot cheaper, back in Medieval Japan. So, it’s entirely possible that he’s doing it too…but I’m not willing to give the Stuthor that much credit after what we’ve been through.
Brian: I think it’s open wounds though, that would explain why he was trying to scratch it earlier, because healing wounds itch.
William: Either way, it’s research fail.
In the same spot where Tiburon kept attacking him.
Brian: Hah! I was right! *Fist pump*
William: Yes, and why would you need bandages for being PUNCHED? Or, in this case, kneed? Bandages are for open wounds, not internal ones.
Brian: Well, I guess that’s what you get for letting a little girl with absolutely no training in medicine be your doctor.
Why'd you grab my tail!" A voice yelled.
William: The exact same dialogue tag applied to consecutive lines from the same character, how brilliant.
Brian: Well, I’d be less concerned about someone grabbing my tail, and more about what he was shouting while he was grabbing it. I mean, he professed the desire to eat you, you should probably be running away.
"Huh?" David looked up to see a girl around nineteen.
William: …This story makes no sense. None. Full fucking stop.
Brian: Well, to be fair, there are devil fruits and she could very well have eaten one…which makes his initial reaction to her even more horrifying.
The Voice: I would just like to point out how ridiculous it is that every single person they come across is teenaged. EVERY SINGLE ONE. And even minor characters like passers-by are never old. I know Luffy’s crew is made up of very young people, but Robin was still 28, and Franky was 33, and I don’t think I need to mention Brook. In this story, however, every single character of interest has been strictly teenaged. So I’d like to present this story to you as perfect evidence for why teenagers are capable of more evil than any other human being. Ladies and Gentlemen, a child with the power of God is not frightening, a teenager is.
She had emerald green eyes
The Voice: ARGH! GEMSTONE EYES! IT’S A SUE!
Brian: GODDAMIT, I THOUGHT ONLY SUETHOR DID THAT SHIT!
William: Seriously, ONE SENTENCE, and you have revealed how huge a Mary Sue your character is. Actually, not quite a sentence, FIVE FUCKING WORDS. How the hell you can condemn a character to brutal sporking with only five words I shall never know.
looked around nineteen,
Brian: …You already said that. FIVE FUCKING WORDS AGO.
The Voice: Look, I already showed you how much I hate that every single one of your characters were more or less the same age. You really don’t have to keep rubbing it in my face.
DEPARTMENT OF REDUNDANCY DEPARTMENT: 5
and around five seven,
William: Around what? What is going on?
Brian: …I think that’s her height in feet, I have no idea.
William: So is she five foot or seven foot? That’s quite a difference, you know!
Brian: No, I think she’s meant to be five foot seven inches.
William: …Any particular reason the narrator didn’t say that?
Brian: Well, using contractions and colloquialism whilst writing as an omniscient narrator is not that unheard of in bad fics. The narrator doesn’t get to say much in this fic, since the Stuthor has a hard on for dialogue, but when he does speak, haven’t you noticed that he sounds exactly like the characters? And haven’t you noticed that the character are all mouth pieces for the Stuthor? Just look at the amount of effort he put into SPELL-CHECKING. Maybe he just couldn’t be bothered to write everything down?
William: …You just had to tell me it was bad writing, you know.
she also seemed quit skinny
The Voice: Well, of course! She’s a Mary Sue, duh! When was the last time you saw an overweight Mary Sue?
William: No, you’re missing the keyword here. She only SEEMED skinny, in actuality, she’s the rough shape of a beach ball.
though rather busty.
Brian: Hey, Stuthor, do you have any idea what boobs are made out of? FAT. They are almost composed entirely of FAT. There is no way to maintain gigantic books and yet still be rail-thin. Look at runway models, they’re disturbingly skinny, they’re also flat as a board. You cannot be skinny and busty unless surgery is involved, and I really don’t think technology in One Piece has been developing in that area.
William: *Patiently* She is a Mary Sue. It’s pretty much mandatory for her to rape the laws of space and time in order to have an impressive bust. It’s the same reason why you never see average length penises in porn.
Brian: …O_O William?
William: Look, it wasn’t my idea, okay? I was ambushed by Joanna.
Brian: Ah…
She had reddish brown hair that had black tips
Brian: What? How does that work? Hair does not magically shift colours according to length! The only possible way to do that is dyeing, and I’m not sure they have that kind of thing in One Piece either.
William: Well, there were plenty of strange looking people in One Piece…but the key was that their appearances were played for laughs. It was supposed to be funny. Having a lithe, busty furry designed for a harem anime suddenly appear in the One Piece universe is just…infuriating and hilarious at the same time.
that fell to mid back
Brian: …O_O Did her hair just fall off?
William: Yes, and suspended about 120 centimetres off the ground. Because this Stuthor is STUPID.
and was parted to the left,
Brian: Well, now that we know every minutiae about her hairstyle…what about some bits on her personality? Her hair is going to change the next morning, I don’t see why you spend so long describing it when you could be revealing character traits.
William: What character traits?
Brian: …Point.
William: The real sin here is all of this minute, long, boring description is going to waste. None of this will ever be elaborated upon or become a plot point. In fact, the Stuthor outright forgets what his characters look like immediately after writing it. Here’s a challenge, without reading any of the past sporkings, see if you can remember Chase’s eye colour.
Yeah, I thought so too.
The only details we know about a character is their physical appearance, and yet those details are outright ignored by the narrative.
The Voice: The Stuthor has consistently attached more importance to physical appearance than personality. He spent paragraph after paragraph detailing exact what the Shark King was wearing…and yet couldn’t be bothered to give us a motive for his villainy. In fact, he couldn’t even be bothered to show him as a villain. It’s quite obvious too, just on a visual level. So far in this fic, all of the paragraphs are at most two lines long, but here, the paragraphs are six to seven lines long. The narrative goes into all kinds of pointless detail, and yet, usually, it is comprised mostly of dialogue tags. I’ve said this countless times, but all of this description is pointless, boring, bogs the story down, out of place, and really says a lot about how the Stuthor sees the world, with each person as a list of physical attributes, and never seeing what makes each and every person who they are. Again, this is probably the most frightening fic I have ever read, just because of what the narrative says about the writer. It’s precisely people like these who become serial killers.
she had reddish brown fox ears that were tipped black,
Brian: What? NO. That is not how hair colour works! What you have written is that the first few centimetres of her hair is black, and if it gets longer than that, the rest of her hair magically turn red. That would mean her ears would appear to be completely black, but if you brush the fur apart, you would see red. If her ears were black tips, then the hair on the front of her head would be completely black, while the hair growing everywhere else would be completely red!
William: And why is her tail black and tipped white, then? That’s the colour your described it to have! And it doesn’t fit the colour of the hair on any other part of her body! Where did the white hair come from? Why is the fur on her tail magically completely black?
Brian: There is only one conclusion: she dyes her hair. There’s nothing wrong with that, except it makes this description even more stupid. All of this detail is being attributed to an area that is not natural to her, and changes on her whim.
TOO DUMB TO LIVE: 12
she had black nails.
William: And now she paints her nails too.
Brian: Not that it’s necessarily bad…I just don’t see why we have to hear about it. In a few days, it’s not going to be there anymore.
The Voice: The entire section is about her hair, and yet at the end of a sentence, the subject magically switches to her nail? Start a new sentence, please. The period is not rationed.
She wore a green trimmed black vest
Brian: Green…and black? Isn’t that the quintessential super villain colour combination?
William: …And why the fuck do we have to hear about her clothes? It changes every fucking day! This is in the middle of a comparatively tense situation! She’s obviously pissed at the protagonist, and is strong enough to kick him clean through a concrete wall. And he’s just trashed someone’s store accidentally, and there’s bound to be people angry because of that. Why are we spending so long on fucking description of her fucking clothes?
The Voice: Hey, do you frequently fight?
William: …yes?
The Voice: Then you do not want the Stuthor to hurry along. Reading this, however painful, is a thousand times better than reading his attempts at action scenes, I can assure you. The other group of sporkers is composed almost entirely of politicians and students, and they were pulling their hair out because the fighting was so stupid. You…really don’t want to.
that had silver buttons
Brian: And now she has SILVER? Most people know not to mix colours like this from childhood! Seriously, who taught her how to dress? Did she loss a bet or something? Who the fuck dresses like this in everyday life? Who the fuck wears something like this for a stroll in town?
William: You seem oddly knowledgeable about appropriate women's fashion.
Brian: I’m just not brain dead. Or colour blind.
and was buttoned up on the shoulders and in the front,
The Voice: You know, I saw tops with buttons along the shoulders the other day too…they were for babies not yet one years old. FAIL.
Brian: And really, it’s a freaking VEST. Why is it detachable at the SHOULDERS? Wouldn’t that just make it a few scraps of fabric? And it must be hell to try to put on, with so many buttons. Who the fuck would wear that on a daily basis?
William: And I doubt a line of buttons down the shoulders looks very nice.
strangley nothing under that,
Brian: Whore.
William: One…vest. A single fucking vest.
The Voice: This just shows how much the cosmos revolves around the main character. This woman is supposed to just be walking through town on her own business, and yet she’s only wearing a single, needlessly complicated shirt, and standing still in an alleyway, just so the main character can conveniently walk by and see her in all her provocative glory. NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE would wear something like this on a daily basis. Some protagonists use their insane luck to get out of life and death situations, David uses it to meet almost naked girls in ridiculous outfits. Need I say more?
she had two sleeves that started under her armpit and went down to her hands and covered her fingers
The Voice: Detachable sleeves, too. I’ve worn them before, for a performance, and I can tell you those things are the most impractical clothing items ever. They keep slipping off, and they leave a red ring around your arm that stays there for weeks. WEEKS. And if her sleeves are long enough to entirely cover her fingers, then they must be even more annoying. As my sporkers observed, this is not something people wear when they’re out shopping. She’s deliberately putting on a display and acting cutesy, because the Stuthor has confused One Piece with whatever tentacle porn he watches whenever he’s not masturbating to his own awesomeness.
William: And, really, if you’re doing everything you can to eroticise your character, then mentioning the word ‘armpit’ in the middle of the description is not a very good idea. About the only people who are turned on by armpits are Touhou players.
DEPARTMENT OF REDUNDANCY DEPARTMENT: 6 (You really don’t have to tell us that she has two sleeves, we kind of assume that given that she has two arms.)
with two silver bands on her biceps that held them there,
The Voice: SILVER bands? I used elastic and it was hell enough! To have them kept their by inflexible METAL…God…
Brian: Does she have two bands on one arm, or two in total? If you’re going to go into every detail and waste our time, you may as well be thorough about it.
on every finger(with the exception of the marriage finger) she had a variety of rings,
Brian: IT’S THE RING FINGER. It’s called the RING finger. Okay, this maybe a regional thing, but who the hell calls it the marriage finger?
William: On EVERY finger, she has a bunch of rings? NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE can pull that off, especially not a slender, little nineteen year old girl. It’ll just look tacky and ostentatious on her, like it does every body.
Brian: Wait…how does he even know what her rings are like? Doesn’t her sleeve cover her fingers? Does David magically have X-Ray vision as well now?
William: Not to mention how impractical it would be! How the fuck are you going to do anything when eight of your ten fingers are so encased in various rings that you can’t even fucking move them? Stuthor, have you seen another human being before? Have you noticed how they dressed? They didn’t have a million rings on them because it means they can’t do anything, and it look fucking horrible. The only people who do that are the kind that like to flaunt their wealth in your face.
Brian: Ah, the kind that’s exactly like the Stuthor, in other words? Egotistical, arrogant, condescending, self-worshipping…And considering how every character is a self-insert, it almost makes logical sense for her to be wearing five thousands rings on each finger.
she wore very short black green trimmed shorts,
William: Shorts. WHAT.
Brian: Do you have any idea what outfit your character is wearing? Have you visualised any of this in your head? She’s wearing nothing but a black vest with green borders, with SILVER buttons not only down her front but down her shoulders, with detachable sleeves, and a few thousand rings on her fingers, sparkling in all their clashing colours, and now you have her wearing matching SHORTS? What on earth are you going for? How on earth do these clothing items fit each other in any way whatsoever? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WEAR THAT YOU CONSIDER THIS TO BE ATTRACTIVE?
William: No wonder he has enough time to write over fifty chapters in a month.
thigh high stockings that had laces,
Brian: AND NOW SHE HAS LACED STOCKINGS? SHE’S WEARING FUCKING STOCKINGS WITH SHORTS? WHAT PLANET DO YOU COME FROM, STUTHOR, WHERE THIS IS WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE WEAR?
William: Why do we not have a WTF counter? Why?
Brian: I…I thought it was irritating before when the narrative just glossed over everything in favour of bland statements a few words long…but now that I’ve seen what this Stuthor comes up with when he tries to be descriptive…
a large side belt,
William: Side belt? As opposed to a top belt or what?
Brian: And now she has a gigantic belt. I give up.
William: It’s like he’s trying to cram all the elements of a Moe character into one, and yet fails to interpret the point of every trait.
Go Forward to: Chapter 9, Part 3
Go back to: Chapter 9, Part 1