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Moving to Dreamwidth
The plan had been to write there and have it automagically xpost here, but it seems this is something LJ is blocking? So - for anyone interested, you can find me there. Please, friends, do reach out - I'd love to keep/rekindle connections!
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'sup, brain
I have a few minutes before my next call and I seem to be wandering around seeking stimulation (probably because my new insurance doesn't like paying for my medication so I'm trying to see how much less effective I am when I'm not medicated). So I thought, why not try to write some? Generally speaking, wrestling multiple threads of thought/ ( Read more... ) -
*breathe*
It's mid-August, and I seem to finally have started re-rooting and making steps forward. My mother just left after having come to visit for the week. I have been at my job for about a month now. We still haven't set up the office because the landlord hasn't come to remove the mold yet, so I've been working from the living room which is... ( Read more... ) -
Existing, still
Back in NC again. And it would be so easy to pick things up right where I left off wanting to go with them. It also appears to be so easy to pick things off right in the middle of the mess I left them. :/ I love working from home and also there's so much in the house that needs to get done that it gets distracting.
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Morning by the Seaside
I am sitting here, inside a room made of windows, wondering if my jacket would be warm enough to justify me grabbing a towel to place on the on the porch table 50 feet in front of me and sit outside. The fog covers the entirety of the ocean view from our balcony, but cannot hide the wind tha carries the barking of the seals from a rock only a tiny ( Read more... ) -
Nightmare
I wake up, heart pounding, in a sweat. I kick the covers off of me and curl tighter around my stuffed moose and feel confusion that I'm not drifting back off to sleep. My mind swims with the residual images... and knowledge of what I have just done.
I bailed from the dream before I could hear their screams. before I could feel the bone jarring ( Read more... ) -
Mornings
Hello world.
Life is a thing. It's a thing that I don't really quite grok.
I am trying to do too many things and I don't have anything to do it with.
The people who want to be supportive require more effort to accept their support (or even communicate a need of it) than it does to just move forward without it.
And I am lonely.
Because what I want ( Read more... ) -
Daily(?)
Last night, as I staged my laptop next to my foam slab in my tiny room, I was quite excited about waking up and beginning a morning journaling routine again. It's been many years, and - frankly - the past week or so has been really difficult for me. I've had a lot weighing on both my mind and my heart, and it's been mostly overwhelming. The ( Read more... ) -
Looong and full of angst
Three years ago, a person I had considered a friend came into my home and proceeded to treat it as their own. They used it and everything and everyone in it to satisfy whatever they wanted in the moment - all without ever bothering to ask. They told me they had been poly in the past, but that they were currently monogamous. They proceeded to ( Read more... ) -
People are Hard
So... there's a thing called geek fallacies. And it's kinda about how - when we reject the stances and beliefs that have hurt and excluded us in the past - we sometimes go too far in the opposite direction ( Read more... )