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Remember, God is listening and He does answer...
I heard from him. Its been 14 years and I was transported back in a moment. Im not sure I can articulate all that happened inside of me. He was the first man that I loved. The only man, besides my husband. First love is an amazing thing. It engulfs you. You are completely saturated by it, in it. He was the air I breathed and in every heart ( Read more... ) -
disappointed.....why am I suprized?
Sometimes I wish he would just cock his hand back and slap me hard across the face. Now there's an injury that he will be able to measure. The trouble with injuries of the heart is that a soul can never be sure that the guilty party understands the depth of pain its endured. A physical mark would stare them in the face long enough to sober their ( Read more... ) -
small wonders
I just tucked my 10 year old son into bed. He's in the 5th grade this year and I am amazed at how he is growing up so quickly before my eyes. I have two older children so its not like Ive never done this before but this time its different. I remember 5th Grade well. I hated it. 5th Grade boys were not nice to me. I look at my son and see a ( Read more... ) -
Unfair
Sometimes you're unfair. Take out your frustrations by bitching at me. I feel angry but mostly sad. Dont give me a dirty look when I try to jump in the shower than try to say that you really dont mind if I join you. I feel rejected when you do that and then lied to. I dont want you're pity, I want your love and the comfort of your company at ( Read more... ) -
Emotional Limbo
I hate it that I want to write the most when Im angry but that is why I started this journal in the first place. To get real with myself instead of playing the "suzy homemaker" part. So once again... here goes.
He's on one of his martyr trips today. He worked all day at the job he hates, has back pain that is only dulled by pain meds, is ( Read more... ) -
it been a while
Wow life has changed since the last post! School is almost out for the summer and I am more than ready! The husbands been clean since January and as you can imagine its like living with a different man. Wonderful in so many ways and such an adjustment. Its hard to let him do some of the parenting but so necessary for our children. I don't have ( Read more... ) -
Great day!
Today was a great day. There wasnt anything amazing, just that things went smoothly. The student I work directly with was especially kind and worked hard. That's most of it. Drs appointment for my son said the ear infections were gone. Halleluiah ( Read more... ) -
The Great Pretender
Every one wears a mask I suppose. Mine is worn, I think, less often than most. ofcourse, one can never be sure of the internal workings of others. I feel it going on like a thick pastey clay when anyone asks me "How's your husband doing?" and I reply "oh, he's doing just fine. Keeping busy!" smile, eye contact, change the subject discretely ( Read more... )