I've always wandered what it would be like to be seen as beautiful.. not eh.. ok looking.. not cute.. not pretty.. but to be seen.. just once as beautiful.. and not being told I'm beautiful because that is what someone says to shut me up.. I mean someone looking at me.. tears in their eyes love and adoration because i am so beautiful to them and ( Read more... )

It was a mostly quiet Samhain.. I was hoping for company but that didn't happen.. I cooked a beautiful pot roast.. I almost thought I was going to have to enjoy it alone but Kumo came home earlier than i thought he would.. I am really hoping for some company tomorrow.. it will be in the mid evening but it will still be really nice i think.. If it

I like the quotes and thoughts but it seems some people have bugs up their asses and aren't always nice about what i post so I will keep them here.. enjoy...

Believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish ( Read more... )

I was so lost for a week and a half.. I can't believe I survived with out cable, internet and phone.. It was so lonely.. I really missed being online but then didn't..

We finally got appointments started for the Monkey.. the first is Monday to test his hearing.. I'm not sure it will go well.. when the nurse tried to test his hearing and vision at ( Read more... )

I was shocked at how cold it was this morning.. I didn't get to sleep til after 2am cause of Kumo putting soo much crap on me i have no control of and he has full control over.. so i stayed up reading and worrying.. finished one book and started on a new one.. I woke up at 7am and freaked out cause I forgot to close Monkey's window last night.. ( Read more... )

I feel like a frozen popsicle... It was warmer earlier but out I guess fall is finally here.. now i just need someone to cuddle with.. someone to keep me warm...

I feel soooo extremely frustrated and the only help.. well.. relief.. I get is from myself.. I need an outlet sooo badly...

I am craving someone to be close to.. even if just for a quick snuggle.. a real snuggle.. an " I care about you" snuggle.. I want to be wanted and needed..

It is so beautiful outside.. and i love the idea of having someone to enjoy it with.. and i know i am an acquired taste but there must be some one or ones who would enjoy my company..

It seems the evenings are harder for me what the days.. Oh I try to muddle through them but I think the loneliness gets worse at night...

Today is a busy day.. trying to pick up the slack from Kumo and the things he didn't get done and taking care of all the stuff i need to get done today.. and I am again feeling something missing in my life..  I feel like i have a huge dead space in my life.. and i so wish i could fill it.. I feel like there is someone out there needing me too.. i ( Read more... )