You are reading the words of a monster. I am a hideous beast, a fiend so hideous had I been born fifty years ago, Hitler would have used me as a flying demonic steed to strike fear into the hearts of the British. Radioactive slime drips from my fingers to stain my cheap keyboard as I write this. I have stolen words and dreams and ideas from the ( Read more... )

So, in preparation for my attempt at slogging through James Joyce's Ulysses (third time's a charm), I came across these filthy letters that prove that not only was Joyce a drunk, he was a freak as well. You don't really want to know that James Joyce was really into anal - that's like finding out Nathaniel Hawthorne liked to be tied up and fucked ( Read more... )

It's been a very bad day. First, I found out I bombed my Database Systems exam, but at least I wasn't alone. Our professor (big, hairy, and African) gave us a 25-minute lecture, during which phrases like "you're the worst class i've taught in twenty years of teaching" and "none of you will ever get jobs in the real world" were thrown around. Ouch. ( Read more... )

(Editor's Note: Found in Glastonbury, bound in seaweed at the shore of a certain lake. There are more excerpts, but these are the most striking. The implications if this text is authentic are staggering, yet, how could a sword write a book?)

The Diary of Excalibur

Day 1Big battle today. Arthur pulled me out and I did that trick where I catch the ( Read more... )

As Landon, Michelle and I arrived at Wal-Mart, we saw an abandoned car with it's passenger door open. No driver, no passengers, and no other cars around. It looked like a free ride ripe for the taking. The absolute zinger? The licence plate read "HEREITIS".

http://www.the-magicbox.com/0702/game070216c.shtml

A lightgun game? First that shitty PSP game that never came out, then this? Fuck you, Konami.

( Read more... )

The administration of my college is famous for it's well-known history of bad ideas, but very few of them come close to the level of the "Privacy Partition", a fixture we behind the scenes call the Porn Wall. The Porn Wall is a monotone partition of cubicle wall about nine feet high and arranged in the shape of a giant "I", so that it's two c- ( Read more... )

You know, of all the excuses i've heard when busting somebody for looking at porn in the lab, "i'm doing research for a paper" is the funniest.

On a 'completely unrelated' note, who the hell is Christina Milian?

Exams are finally over! Yay!

I kicked my Accounting exam in the ass this afternoon(wish I could say the same about Statistics), then met Landon and his friend Tuck at the Kingdom and killed a little time in the arcade. We got on the Ultracade and played some bizarre Golden Axe rip-off called Knights of the Round. I have this theory - any game is 300 ( Read more... )