i'm never on here anymore, and it makes me sad. what i used to be able to do i can no longer do: write my troubles and scream until my fingers hurt from typing, and let the people that don't care read it. now i want to scream about a person and i know they could read about it in here. all i can say is:

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS GOING ON????????????????

( Read more... )

god DAMN IT i hate being so fucking afraid of things i shouldn't think twice about.

and i'm so sorry. i am so so so sorry. i play games, but i'm tired of playing them.

nervousness. what is killing chances i should have never been given.

meg

( Read more... )

errrgh. i'm fucking exhausted. slept about 4 hours and worked from noon till about 11 pm. horray for doubles on a Saturday!!!

...........................

no, i was being serious. i walked out $110 richer than when i walked in. and this is after i spent $8 on my lunch, $ for the foodrunner, and tipped out $15 towards hosts, bussers, and bartenders.

( Read more... )

the good:

lil steven, my ridiculously hot server at Red Eye, kissed me on my forehead when he left the restaurant tonight.

the older steven gave me $20 just because i asked him for it. i gave it back, of course, but it made me fell good to know if i needed it he'd give it to me.

michael, one of Red Eye's delivery drivers, and his friend sat next to ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

i seriously need to start keeping up with my posts. i've been skipping a lot these past few weeks. someday i'll look back and wonder why my journal has so maaaaany holes in it.......

this past week or so has been.........well................ interesting. serving is so much fun, but the sidework sucks ass. two hours to complete sidework, tables, ( Read more... )

i had a semi-good day today. for many many reasons that shan't be mentioned here, i was in a shitty mood for most of the day. the only comfortable spots were in the time i spent with David and Carey. we had a blast, except for coming home to find someone had broken into David's car and stolen his cd player and the few cds he left in his car. that ( Read more... )

after that last, semi-depressing entry, i have an uplift: i finally can post pictures!!!!!

enjoy.

( a picture's worth a thousand words )

tonight, everything has just felt different. i drove home from Red Eye, watching the smoke and steam rise through a manhole, and the lonely street made me feel all itchy inside my own skin. i feel like i want to break through whatever is holding me down and melt into the sidewalk, just become another part of this breathing being that we exist in. ( Read more... )