I hate my jobs for multiple reasons. Main one though, it gives me too much time to think. These past 6 months have been filled with too many goodbyes to very important people in my life. One of them I honestly have no clue what made her truly start hating me and never wanting to speak to me. The other, well I know I'm better off without him, ( Read more... )

I would love to say that I cried over our ending, but I didn't. It's been a long time coming, on both our behalfs. However, that doesn't mean that the thought of losing this person didn't cross my mind once or twice today while at work. I thought of all the horrible things I would say to him if we were to ever see each other again, but truth be ( Read more... )

Lots of endings have been happening in the past couple of weeks, friendships ... drama ... dreams ... but that only means one thing, lots of beginnings are about to happen. I'm hoping this time around I'll be a stronger and better person from the previous go around.

I'm starting to become proactive on my dreams. Well, at least one of them. I e-mailed a professor from NIU last night explaining to her how I am interested in getting my work published and how I could get started. Since she is a professor I did not expect to hear back from her for awhile, but lo and behold she e-mailed me back today. She gave ( Read more... )

This is me in an enclosed space screaming! ... Ok, I'm better now.

I have come to the realization that a majority of the men I hold dear to my heart really don't deserve to be there. For example, I have finally seen the light with Brandon. In fact, it's so bright, that it's practically blinding. Why should I sit here and tell myself I'm not good enough for him? No, it's the other way around. He's not good ( Read more... )

I need someone to talk to. Someone who won't sit there and tell me I'm being dramatic and later call me out that I need him or her. That seems to happen quite often these days. And it's not just about a certain person whom he thinks this is directed towards. So here I am, silently talking to those who bother to read this ( Read more... )

Thursday, September 7, 2006 ( Read more... )

The story ended exactly how I expected it to. However, I more or less turned it around to anyone who's walked away loathing me. I know there are at least one or two out there. I figured that those who have held on to those negative feelings will be relieved once I pass from here, not for a very long time though. I will live to be in my late 80s ( Read more... )

I feel like shit. My soul and heart hurt so badly right now. He was wrong, and at least I can go to sleep knowing that. I'm still stupid though. But once again, at least he knows. Nothing will come of it, this I already knew. For some odd reason, my stupidity weaseled itself out again. I should really learn not to speak. Being a sullen girl ( Read more... )