All's Quiet on the western front. I took my meds. Kevin and I talked. Crisis averted.

Two things happened tonight with Kevin is unfortunately quick succession that have given my heart an unpleasent wrenching twist. The first is that while tending to another phone call he mentioned a desire to get one of his friends drunk and/or stoned...which I can only assume he would also be doing. And I am so bothered by this that I honestly do ( Read more... )

Falling in love is a strange process where at once you become profoundly aware of certain external things, and yet where many of your deepest desires become decidedly simple. I have the simple desire to share my space, yet embeded in that is a sudden awareness of that space, and of the language it speaks--what my space is capable of saying about me ( Read more... )

For the first time in my life I understand those people who say that the best things in life are free, the ones who believe that money has nothing to do with it. I just want to be with Kevin and sleep next to him, and figure out how he likes his coffee, and to share my whole life with him. Now clearly, not being dirt poor helps. But beyond that, I ( Read more... )

Wow, so I am officially someone's girlfriend again. This is absolutely fantastic. Now I will grant, the fact that he lives in California is going to complicate things. But I think it is really going to work amazingly well. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy. It is unbelievable. I was wondering if we were official, and then one of his friends walked ( Read more... )

Tonight I realized that I have finally let go of Nick. Completely. I can read our old conversations, and all I see is how he was actually a pretty unkind person to me. The old pictures don't bother me. It's just over. I'm a little annoyed he has been so immature, but I'm not actually surprised by the fact that he blocked me. His choice, his loss. ( Read more... )

What am I? Like not online? Because NO ONE is responding to my IM's. It's rather annoying. Last night was really tough. I mean really tough. It gave me some new ideas, but it was a long hard night. But I guess all is well since I am around to talk about it.

Rejected. It's such a fantastic feeling. Whatever. I'm just in a bitter mood. I'm tired of people who don't know what they feel. I just fucking want someone to want me. Oh, that's right. I believe that someone does. And trust me, that is the ONLY thing keeping me going right now.

Devainr art is down, pli couls eate try back in 30mins. But i wanted to come here anywawt. Brian smokes pot and drinks.,,.it maeks me laught. Ns i am getting to dress poretty.I remembered to put in my retainers ( Read more... )

So there was this rope, tied around my middle tight, and at the end of it were good friends holding fast. And the ground was so far below, and I was so afraid of falling that I kept trying to cut my rope. But the rope would not budge, and the friends would not let go. One day I got tired of the ache of my weight on the rope, and the fear of falling ( Read more... )