Have had a tough week with adjusting to my new meds...but they have been shooing the my personal storm-cloud away, and have been a fairly decent umbrella when all else fails. Mom had to go to the hospital again...she is ok, but I am a bit stressed about. But what is new about that--it has always been the case with her. And it is not about to change ( Read more... )

It's sad when the only thing that can give you peace is chemical in nature. At least I am able to find solace.

I'm really tired of being depressed. I'm really tired of feeling worthless. I'm really tired of feeling like things will never get better. I'm so scared. I just want this to go away.

I am sorry that I am human. I am sorry that I told you not to babysit me, without clarifiying that I did need you to listen. Let me state what I need in a friendship in so far as I am able to do so ( Read more... )

John has a new favorite singer, and I am scared that her status will extend beyond that. I am afraid that I am about to become old news, or that the friendship we have is no longer going to be exciting, or worthwhile, or anything. I am afraid that he will no longer be intersted in being my friend to the degree that he was. I am scared and ( Read more... )

So here I am, about to confess to you all about what has been going on in my life. I am rather drugged right now, so I apologise if my logic is muddled. Here goes: You all know I like John, and now thanks to various circumstances, he is also aware of this. Fortunately, his finding this out has nothing to do with a drug-induced confession. However, ( Read more... )

Yesterday was really good and I was happy for the first time in weeks. But happiness is ephemeral. And after vomiting all night, I once again feel as though my life has no purpose, no prospects, and no possibility of improving. I feel empty and alone, even if I'm not. I am sorry no one can help me. I am sorry that I can't help myself. I can't even ( Read more... )

So it's 4:49 am. Why is there no one awake to entertain me? Why? Oh well. So yeah, my statement to the world is Arragh. Yeah. I'm just. Gaaah. Yeah. So. This is going to make no sense to anyone but Megan. Oh well. Or maybe it will. Yeah. The people downstairs are having a huge screaming fight, and they are breaking up. It's interesting to listen to ( Read more... )

I am so tired of feeling inadequate. I want to be the sort of person who can cheer other people up. I want to be the sort of friend who can listen, and who in listening helps others to feel better. I want to be equal, and just as good, and maybe even better than. But instead I live in limbo where I am waiting to be good enough, or even only a ( Read more... )

Figured I would update while I am busy procrastinating. I finally got my printer to work with my Gateway which is no longer dying. So yay for that. I also produced a new picture. And I am happy about that. Now if I could only get my class-work done, I would be all set. Love to my readers. If you want to see my new picture, head here: Read more... )