Alissa is here, and she gave me what must be one of my coolest christmas presents ( Read more... )

I'm so tired of being alone. And yet it is partially by choise that I am. I can't fathom not hanging out with the people I love being around, just to meet new people. And my life is so full most of the time. But in some ways it is so desolate and empty, it just kills me. What am I to do? Lose myself in dreams, where I am happy, and bohemian, and ( Read more... )

Please don't worry when I say this, but right now, I really have no desire to be alive. I have no appetite, and just, blah. I don't want to go on being alone, and watching my friends persure their relationships, or possibilites, or mad hopes and dreams. I'm tired. And I just want out.

"And I hate when people are disappointed in me, I feel so little and want to run and stick my head in the ground like a fucking ostrich. Id much rather they be mad at me. Well, thats kind of a lie, cause I get scared when people get mad at me, so Id really like for people to be happy with me."--Alissa ( Read more... )

Tonight I am feeling a little bit unstable...my blood-sugar has been all over the place, probably because I did not eat after I worked out last night. And a little emotionally unstable too.*sigh* And yeah, had a busy day: Stalls, Car Pickup, Groceries, Took out the trash, cleaned the fish tank...why do I feel like I've done nothing at all? Early ( Read more... )

Have worked out, have created a food journal. Despite these accomplishemts I have decided to deny myself the pleasure of a pear with caramel sauce. Manily as punishment for my spending spree. And current lack of fitness. I have substituted a cup of apple blossom green tea with equal and 1% milk and cinnamon..John will be coerced into trying this-- ( Read more... )

It was...ham (slightly over cooked, but still good) Half of a butternut squash cooked with a ginger liquour, and baked tiny golden potatoes. And I have another pear for dessert. And I am actually going to go and work out tonight...for the first time since I got Mono. And I *Almost* rode today... but I thought that it was time for me to come in to ( Read more... )

Well, I have wasted the last several hours in front of the computer. And now I am tired, again. Do I watch a movie? Do I go to sleep? Something tells me I will not sleep through the night. I will magically pop awake again in two hours or so. So, movie it is, I think. Tonights selection: "Life or Something Like it." How thrilling. I spent damn near ( Read more... )

Ok. So, my hair is now an ultra-short bright pink bob. Because, A. I did not like the shape the cut I got a month ago had grown into, and it has not really grown enough to warrant another haircut--they are costly, and I am pretty damn good. B. It is pink because I had pink dye to use up, and I HATED the orangy color it had faded to. So, I'm looking ( Read more... )

So I left for NJ on wednesday, and had to drive for basically 8 hours to bring Meg home, then go back to south Jersy to get John, and then go back to Megans to drop off her purse, and then go back to John's to spend the night, so Meg couls stay at Bobby's. I *could* have stayed there, but Zach was there, and the moment I told John that, he was like ( Read more... )