its still hard.

93 on psych of gender test.

Tim and I got in a fight after class because I asked if he's still marry me if i had a vagina AND a penis.

*le sigh*

I'm really down. Like...really really down. I'm tired of being this way. Its like no matter how many pills I take. No matter how much therapy. I feel hopeless. I feel such a huge void...

these are from the past 2 weeks i think:

blurry but eh oh well:


( Read more... )

My mom came and visited me yesterday. She stayed the night and left this morning. She kep tme busy the whole day and I have to say it did take my mind off of things. But the mess may be gone from my room but it still exists in my mind. My mind keeps trying to piece together facts and figures and make sense of his suicide. If it's this hard on me ( Read more... )

PS- I'm not going to kill myself. Alot of people are all getting weirded out and in turn it weirds me out.

My mom almost rushed up here because of a fucked up dream I just had and told her about.

i really miss high school. i was reading my older LJs...god.

Life is passing faster each day...

and i have cramps. is it possible to remove your girlie organs and store them until you want to reproduce?

i'm going to post my journal from my GJ in here because it still describes how i feel:

I keep hoping that this is all a joke. I'll get the phone call at some random hour like 4:20 am and It'll be him saying its a joke.

That call isn't coming.

It finally sunk in when I saw the obituary. him laying dead in the coffin looking like plastic ( Read more... )

I really wish i knew answers right now.

My thoughts and prayers are with Joey's family and friends right now.

i am going isane.

panic attack.

i hate you so much.

..

....

.

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