"I want to stop being addicted to the things that i hate. i want to live my life and not worry about what you think of me or what you're saying about me behind my back or what my hair color is or what shoes i'm wearing because it doesn't fucking matter. it doesn't matter if you shop at Abercrombie and Fitch or at Hot Topic, it's all the same ( Read more... )

Sometimes I just feel jipped with the whole idea of Christmas. I mean, what's this I hear? Christmas is supposed to be a magical experience for children? Why I ask, isn't it meant to be a magical occasion for all? Would it be so hard for us to take the time out of our self absorbed lives to countinue to create a fantasy for those we love. I'm not ( Read more... )

I've been having a lot of heart trouble the past couple weeks. My heart will just speeed up and I'll get awfully dizzy. Then my head will ache, and my body will go limp. When this occurs, I feel like I'm inside my body, but I can't get out. Like I want to get out though. It's an incredible scary situation to be in ( Read more... )

I was really rather bored and lonley sitting around my honey's house today. At least I was at first. Then I thought about how luckey I was to be there with him, and how I need to lighten up. So I wrote him a poem about it.

You can read a copy of it HERELater at Burger King, Stan said I was acting bad, and made him feel uncomfortable. Like he felt ( Read more... )

I woke up at ten minutes until two o'clock this afternoon. Stan's call is the only thing that kept me from dreaming all day. He told me he had also just got up. We talked about dreams ( Read more... )

I woke up on floor this morning once again. Seems to be the trend for the New Year? This time I was alone. The television was still on. I looked up, and Notting Hill was sticking out of the VCR. I tried to recall which part of the movie I fell asleep during. I arched my back and stood up. The clock read 7:11. I thought about slushies, and stopping ( Read more... )

I woke about six times this morning before I decided it was actually time to stay awake. The first time I woke up, I found myself on the floor, wrapped around my koloa blankey, shivering. I looked onto my mattress half wondering in my groggy state, why I was on the floor. As I peered up through my sleepseed infested eyes I saw my lover sleeping ( Read more... )

I really didn't want to get out of bed this morning, but somewhere inside me I found the courage because I knew it was going to be such a beautiful day. Stan was due to pick me up at 12:30PM so we could catch a 1:10 showing of 'What Women Want'. I decided holidays deserve dress up. I took a very hot long shower, and put on my black shirt and pink ( Read more... )

I was updating the links on my site, when I came across good ole Jake's site. My first impression was "pink". That's interesting. My second opinion was what is this--> He's doing a cd with Justin?? Now, I find this odd . . . but I'll move off that point to keep the ounce of RESPECT I have for Mr.Brown from getting tarnished. So, on to my thoughts ( Read more... )

I've been having the craziest dreams. For example, last night I dreamt that Stan, Greg, and I blew up those big brown trash bins for fun. Cars as well. Then, the dream ended with me being in an episode of Facts of Life. I think I was supposed to be Jo ( Read more... )