he's such a rollercoaster making peice of shit guy. Why do i care that he texts me one night saying he likes me a lot and then the next day calls me and says it was a mistake saying that?
How come all this shit has to come out right before I leave?! Completely TAINTING MY TRIP! WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK RIGHT NOW?!?!

one more month.
and I am OUT OF HERE!
for a little while at least...I think it'll be long enough to refresh my appreciation for Kalamazoo though...CAN"T FRICKIN WAIT TO BE IN PRAGUE!

Life has been...well...going i suppose ( Read more... )

First sunburn of the year=life is good in Samland...except for the fact that I have to pay 700 dollars to get my car fixed. FUCK. I dont even know if my car is still worth that amount of money...poor jamal. Rehab was expensive for him. SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER!!!!

So i have discovered that I really really enjoy holding doors for people...its all about taking the smallest things and making them not about myself. I'm trying really hard right now to not focus on what I want but what is OUT THERE...its much more comforting to not focus so much on myself all the time and also I feel like I get a clearer picture ( Read more... )

its funny how i never really know how i am feeling until i write a poem. JUST WRITE a poem and then it all comes out spectacularly ( Read more... )

i wonder. I just WONDER what would happen if i knew for one MOMENT what the hell was going on?!?!? Youre not supposed to be clueless about your own life right? WELL I AM! WHAT IS GOING ON???!?!?!!
WHY DON'T I KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MYSELF?!?!?!

im sick of this "work on yourself" shit...Im sick of dealing with my own shit as well as other peoples. More specifically Cecille's and my dad's. I just want to be numb for a while. I really do.

today is amazing.

Soooo I'm having a hard time right now. I keep using people as band-aids...in other words I'm not reaffirming my self worth to myself...(sounds funny....but whatever) instead I keep looking to other people to do it for me. Which is why Ive become sick of being a nun so fast...and now that i cant reaffirm myself for myself...Im getting desperate and ( Read more... )