im getting frusterated. i feel like a disgusting fat ass everyday. how long can this go on? i weighed myself today and it said 138...what the fuck. ppl say i look healthy. i dont feel healthy. i dont feel heatlthy. im going to my therapist tommorow to discuss this. im starting to think i need to go back on a 1500 calorie diet. because i havent, ( Read more... )

Its been a nothing day. Ive done nothing, have nothing to do and dont want to do anything. Dont really feel like do anything tonight either. jenny ans surabhi are seeing a movie but i dont want to spend the money and told justin we d see it together. Its joeys birthday so he going out with the usual group justin, joey, jane, katie, jeanette, her ( Read more... )

justin told me he loved me last night. i said it back. at first he said he didnt beleive me. i was telling the truth. After assuring him i asked if he beleived me. he said "i hope so".

The day passed by slowly. i have no job so..the day 3 diet is going well. ive ate all i can for today and plan on taking a walk after my shower at 4. Today i had..microwavable mac n cheese, this warm up lemon cake stuff, glass of milk, then later heated up the left over quesdilla that justin left here last night dipped in excellent ranch. my guess ( Read more... )

sO..... for the 1st time in yrs. darren hayes is coming to america to do some shows. ive been waiting for this....i bought my ticekts, 2 of them, dont care who i take, today online for june 18th in chicago!!! 70 bucks but worth it. Omg i cant even begin to...i started crying in the car thinking and imagining what it would like. Im not a member ( Read more... )

it is morningy. kim had tiff and some ppl over last night i think but i was so exhausted i just went to bed. Except i dont know how good a sleep it was because i was having these weird ass dreams and justin called 3 times while i was sleeping. But i noticed when ppl call and ur asleep it takes awhile for the mind to grasp what the fuck that noise ( Read more... )

I took my online test todat and im completely done with classes!!! For now. I'm free! Get to see ali tommorow. me and justin are driving to toledo to meet up with her and john for dinner. i wish i could have more time with her before she goes to china for..a month? This summer will be fun...i actually want to be in ypsi. and my beloved toledo of ( Read more... )

i have to lose weight, take 3 tests and finish the chapter excellence book this week...all while still feeling sick and having no energy.
wtf. shoot me. can i do it?!
ahhhhhhh

ive been sick for 3 or more days now..the post before this was a private rant. i still feel shitty but fuck it i taking a shower and getting things in order again. my medication put me under one of the worst fogs, but its finally time to step out of it. im sick of seeing these little girls running around thinking their the shit. their not. im about ( Read more... )

So im finally in here. The new house with kim, jenny and eventually tracey. family and justin came on sat. and moved most of it. but now its just 2 roooms packed with shit in boxes and what not. ive decided tommorow will be dedicated to moving in and getting the rest of my things from the apartment. i was thinking about it today and god it still ( Read more... )