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Birthday Blues
July 17th. A day that will live in infamy. Ok, maybe not yet, but eventually. It marks the day when, 31 years ago, a certain genderqueer, drag king, chick-digging person made their way kicking and screaming into this world. I'm dreading this year's anniversary of that birth. I've taken the day before, the of and the day after off.... for no good ( Read more... ) -
Down the Rabbit Hole
How do you tell someone to fuck off that you love so damn much? How do you reconcile the hurt they've caused with the fact that you just feel empty without them in your life? How do you stop loving someone just because you know you should, and you have to? I'm still numb, except for this huge empty hole I have in my heart. It's the emptiness that' ( Read more... ) -
Numb...
I've become numb. Numb but with this constant dull ache. I no longer recognise what I feel, or what I want. Appearances are everything and things just don't look good. People I'm supposed to trust are pushing boundries they shouldn't be pushing ( Read more... ) -
Ugh....
I figured since I have 18 weeks to catch up on, I may as well post twice in one day.
Life right now is... hard. And that's putting it mildly. My sanity is at risk of disappearing completely. I feel like I'm in danger, once again, of losing my sense of self. My life is no longer my own. I am currently living for my girlfriend's dad.......... and ( Read more... ) -
Veteran's Day ramblings
Wow. Has it really been 18 weeks since the last time I was on? That's crazy. I always mean to blog, but then get distracted by things like life and work, so I just never get around to it. But I find myself sitting at the kitchen table, with nothing much to do and a rant in my head, so here I am. I decided to NOT post this on my myspace or facebook ( Read more... ) -
The Proverbial Last Nerve
So this last month or so has been rough. Really rough. My girlfriend's mom, step-dad, brother and sister moved back from Kentucky and have been staying with us. They were supposed to be with us for a couple of weeks. At least, that's what I was told when it was mentioned that they were coming back. That "couple weeks" turned into a month. Then ( Read more... ) -
And people wonder why I don't talk to them...
So recently, a good friend of mine and I went for coffee and he proceeded to tell me that he had seen some things that made him uncomfortable, and just wanted me to be aware. It was on a night when everyone had gone to the Cash, but I had gotten off work late and didn't feel like going out. A certain douchebag was there, as she always seems to be, ( Read more... ) -
To LJ or not to LJ...
is no longer a question. I'd neglected LJ when things in my life started changing, which is nothing really new. My blogging always comes and goes in waves. however, I've decided not to neglect my LJ anymore. Blogging always makes for a great release, regardless of my mental health/stability/etc at the time. Both Myspace and Facebook have too many ( Read more... ) -
"Ouch" - E.T.
It hurts to be forgotten.
It hurts to not have the comfort you long for when you're balled up on the couch in barely bearable pain.
It hurts when friends don't understand and say things that just end up pissing me off, because they don't even want to understand.
It hurts to miss something that, up until only very recently, was right there in front of ( Read more... )
