Nictotine Patch Day... 52? 53?

[spectremeat]

(We interrupt your Spring cheer to bring you this brief announcement.)Dear Idiot (also known as Tenant #4

Comments

[theuglyvolvo]

angry much? ;)

[spectremeat]

No, no. Just this one time.

Okay, that's a load of crap. I get angry easily.

In my defense, there's a big sign on my apartment door that says in big block letters:

DO NOT KNOCK ON THIS DOOR AFTER 8PM UNLESS THERE IS AN HONEST EMERGENCY IN WHICH SOMEONE'S LIFE IS IN DANGER.

But hey, anybody could miss that 43 times in a row.

[marveen]

Like I said, try the Miss Manners solution. She recommends that when--for example--rude people call you up after midnight just to chat, thus ruining your sleep, you should shout excitedly into the phone, "What is it? Are you OK? Which hospital are you at? What happened?" under the pretense that only a dire emergency could spur them to call you at that hour.

You could similarly bolt out into the hallway and start shouting at doofus about "What is it? What's on fire? Who's hurt?"

[spectremeat]

I don't know. I know it costs you a lot of money to break a lease ($200 fee, plus the rent for the remainder of the lease if we don't rent it before it expires).

[eididdy]

This is one of the many examples of why I endeavor not to piss you off...

[spectremeat]

You, my friend, could not piss me off this much.

Know why?

Because you read things, you're smart enough not to sign things you don't understand, and you are not a dillhole yambag asshat.

That last one's a big deal.

I should post a sign on the front door of the building: "Dillhole yambag asshats need not apply."

[arcanusvitae]

But I like yams...

Oh, by the way, you should work on using the vernacular more often. Instead of "verily, your female companion has a foul and wretched stench about her," just say something like "daaymn, your ho-bag be stank," or maybe the subtler "that ain't zesty homes."

Just working on enriching your insult repertoire that much more.

-Patrick