I have a confession to make..

[speechless_soul]

I surround myself with fallback guys. So that if i am ever with a guy and things dont work out, i wont always be alone and somehow denied. When i leave that guy (or be left) i run to the other one and pretend as if it never even happened. As some fucked up way that i wont get hurt.
I guess it is just my own insecurities. That i will never at one

Comments

I know what you mean

[pinkbunnyofdoom]

I never had it down to the art form you've managed, but I remember doing something similar(Pimp/Play). Good job sticking to your guns. We are all tempted, its by rising above temptation that we rise above our worst inner demons. I'm proud of you girl. This post reveals a lot of introspection, and with it, comes the change you seek. I will say this though, never, and I mean never, change for someone else. Change because you want to, don't attribute those changes entirely to another person. Allow yourself to be inspired to do something by someone else, but in order to maintain sanity(something I think is slipping away from me again), center on yourself. If you don't all that change might easily slip away(All of this first hand knowledge).

Lots of love and tons of pride

<3 Jason

P.S. Not that it matters to anyone else but I made zero spelling errors when I put this through the spell check during the preview. Go Me!!!!

Re: I know what you mean

[speechless_soul]

Yes i can understand that changing for another person is a bad idea, just waiting for destruction. Hell ihave done it before, lol should learn from past mistakes..But when do we ever do that =P
I want to be a better person for myself, i guess you could say i found my motivation, the love i have for someone. Makes you persieve life at a whole nother level.
YAY! i found my MOTIVATION!

P.S. hah, you rock man with the kickass spelling, now all i need is my ass to do that
<3 Jen

Yeah, I found my motivation too

[pinkbunnyofdoom]

It's eerie how other people can affect us so much, just by existing.

Why do you worry about spelling? I just write a-fucking-lot, so it's something I strive for in order to improve the overall. Little steps to big ones. I see my lawyer tomorrow and see about how long I've been sidetracked for. Glad to see I'm not the only one growing.

You rock my face off kiddo. hugs, smiles, and whatever else floats your boat.

<3 Jason

Re: Yeah, I found my motivation too

[speechless_soul]

*giglez* i rock your face off. Well in a way that sounds kinda violent. lol.
Yeah, and vise versa witht he people in our lives. We effect them just the same. Thats why i want to be the best person i can for myself that i can be good for them also. I guess i just have to draw the line weither or not i am changin because i want to and to better myself. or just myself in someone elses mind.
<3z and Hugz
Good luck with the sneaky lawyer =P

[nwmann]

mmm i wanna talk to you later O.o

<3

[speechless_soul]

i am here...where are you? o.0