God bless you, my little Saturn.

Built like a car, but strong like a bull.
Like a strong, undentable bull.

With a slight pain in his neck,
Kevin Vredevoogd

I'd like James Woods to kill me ( Read more... )

You all need to watch "Trapped in the Closet" by R Kelly.
Now.
Go.

A cliffhanger,
Kevin Vredevoogd

It was late one fall in Halloweenland,
and the air had quite a chill.
Against the moon a skeleton sat,
alone upon a hill.
He was tall and thin with a bat bow tie;
Jack Skellington was his name.
He was tired and bored in Halloweenland

"I'm sick of the scaring, the terror, the fright.
I'm tired of being something that goes bump in the night.
I'm bored with ( Read more... )

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the van,
Your ol' buddy Matt fell asleep behind the can.

His children were nestled two time zones away,
With his first wife and her husband, in sunny L.A.

Matt woke up and realzied with a chill and a quiver
That he was living in a van down by the river.

Required Watchin': I dunno, Best of Chris ( Read more... )

Mike: Crow, Tom and I have written and are going to perform an original Christmas Carol.
Crow: Uh, Mike, it's NOT just for Christmas It's for holidays of ALL faiths.
Tom: And don't call it a 'carol' because Carol is a woman's name and we want this to be all-inclusive.
Mike: Okay, why don't you hit it, Cambot? (Music starts)

Mike (singing):
Let us all ( Read more... )

If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

If I had two wishes that I could wish for this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace... and ( Read more... )

Tom: It's quiet in the cold of our own little orbit, starless and bible black. And as I look down on the big blue bean we would call home I think it so near, yet... oh, I wish on that star and I hope that in a little snow-covered house with a warm hearth and a loving family, maybe some kid is looking up tonight and wishing upon us. Oh, and how I ( Read more... )

“Hey, Kevin! Phone’s for you ( Read more... )

Happy Birthday Puma Man!

Bacon-flavored cola,
Kevin Vredevoogd