I'm looking at amazon.com to check the status of some recent orders, but something on the homepage distracts me. It's a Valentine's Day poll, flowery graphics rendered in standard whites and pinks. The topic: Love Is in the Air VS Love Stinks, and below that, "Tell us how you really feel, honey." Amazon.com has sidled up next to me, put a caring ( Read more... )

I'm tasked with writing a scene for my fiction class. It's the first longer assignment we've been given, and I'm worried about the end result. It's incredibly difficult to start from scratch and develop something meaningful, not just in written word but with music composition as well. I always avoided getting serious about writing music because ( Read more... )

This is the second writing assignment for my fiction class.

Roads is the guitar player in a seven piece hard-rock band called Villain. Tonight, he careens onto the stage about thirty seconds later than the other guys, lurching drunkenly along a narrow aisle between keyboards and precarious stacks of equipment, guffawing when he knocks over ( Read more... )

Construct the penis as a Weapon of Mass Destruction, spurting and asserting these self-evident truths that all crooks and thieves are created equal ( Read more... )

I'm going to let President Fucker's words speak for themselves: [on the subject of the new interrogation law] "With the bill I'm about to sign, the men our intelligence officials believe orchestrated the murder of nearly 3,000 innocent people will be brought to justiceSo we're not even going to bother with certainty, belief is good enough now ( Read more... )

So I just pulled an eight pager right out of the ol' crapper. Yup. Problem is, the minimum length was decreed as twelve pages. Whoops. I think I'm gonna have to take a 'B' in that class like a man. No straight 'A's for me ( Read more... )

I approached the automatic doors of the Eckerd on Guadalupe St., passing briefly beneath the shade of its blue eaves and the 30's-era marquis sign that hung just above them. That sign always seemed odd to me: the store's name and logo stamped in blue and framed with big, white bulbs--the kind you'd see over an old theater. I wondered if there was ( Read more... )

On a pleasant Friday afternoon (last Friday, more specifically) I was repeatedly pistol-whipped by a tyrannical group of thug police officers, felled to the ground with more frequency than I was on my last trip to the ice rink. Brian called "cut!" and the menacing faces of the cops became expressions of comaraderie. Pulled to my feet with the ( Read more... )

Maxine Hong Kingston's visage appeared to me projected through electricity and glass ( Read more... )

Are you:

1) A glutton for all things narcissistic, ponderous, and ill-conceived?

2) Unoccupied indefinitely (16mb download [managable on high-speed], 20 minute audio track)

3) Bored to tears (caution: this post may actually make you more bored than you already are, believe it or not)

If you answered yes to all of the above questions, this may ( Read more... )