I feel better now good nite

God damit i want Wesley, I love Wesley, I wanted Wesley but now I dont know what I want. fucking 4 years i have liked him more than any guy ever. More than Artyum , more than Aaron. I am so over it now but god I still get those feelings where i Want him ( Read more... )

Ok lets see what else ise bothering me. Well ehhh forget it I am not talking about that,

Ok i guess the truth now. This forth of july i really want to be alone. not around any one. I had my fill of couples for the month. I dont want to be around Erik and Liz or Denise and Thomas. I just cant be around that. I feel like i wont have fun. I will feel like i am a third wheel. I wouldnt have fun. I stand by word and will not go. Even when ( Read more... )

My friends have asked me why do i keep posting on live journal. I dont answer. Its like what i used to do when i was younger. When ever i felt bad about my self or anything I would take out some paper and write every negative thing i could think of qhich i thought people would say about me or what i thoguht about my self. I would usually get about ( Read more... )

When ever im in a down mood there is two things i usually will listen to Vanessa Mae , which know one knows who is, probally think she is some kinda j-pop artist but nope she is a British Violinist. My favorite to be exact. I only listen to her songs when im sad. Her music really helps. But at the moment Im listening to Sting's Desert Rose. The one ( Read more... )

It is 1:17 am and I can not sleep. I have alot on my mind and i can not sleep it is bothering me so much. I spent the evening with Liz. She asked me a question i wasnt expecting. and that is who do i like or more procise how is your love life in sense. I just laughed and said no one. In High School it was Wesley but now it nothing. no girl no guy. ( Read more... )

Just got back from Dustin's house. Man he lives almost out in the middle of knowhere lol. but still kool. I had somewhat fun. kinda was bored a little since i knew not what him and liz were talking about. i do what i do best in that situation nod and smil or laugh.

Well i leave soon , i will have so much fun with being able to drink and all that i will be in heaven lol. its not all about the drinking but im going to have a good time. im going to bring back lots of good pictures also. see yall when i get back.

Well rotc is once again gone to shit. grrr i am very very disapointed in our units CO. i tried so fucking hard to back her up i bent over backward for her i asked the staff to do the same and what ddo we get in return insults and more hell. All i want is this unit to succeed thats all i want. I cant even talk at staff meeting no more because of her ( Read more... )