Well, since my last post I have had some time to re-evaluate my situation. I guess deep down I've always wanted to go back to NC. No matter how much I want to take all of my new friends here with me. It sucks. I love everyone here SOOOO much more than the people up there. But, I love being there more than here. HEY GUYS ... ROAD TRIP... PERMANENT ( Read more... )

I don't know what is going on with me today. Its like I'm being forced to re-evaluate my entire life on the fly. I don't have to money to keep up my house, my car, my kid... or anything. I don't have the money to do shit it seems. Really. I mean, wtf am I going to do. And now, mom is saying that she just can't stand it anymore, that she wants to ( Read more... )

Just when I think that I can really just get over my bestfriend being out of my life... I find the CD he burned for me the first day we spent together at his old apartment. Complete with his scribbled out mistake and the little "sorry" signed above it. "Ain't nothing wrong with having someone to hold". Back then that was so true. He still holds so ( Read more... )

Okay, so I was thinking. If this infection of mine was similar in make-up to an STD which the doc did lead me to believe, Why the hell didn't they talk about treating D. I dunno. So, I called the hospital to ask if they could or needed to call in something to treat him. Antibiotics or what-not. She said no can do, that we needed to come in go ( Read more... )

I was trying to sleep last night after spending the night in the hospital when I got a phone call from my sister in law's cell. It was 1:39 am. Not a happy time to be calling me. Especially a prank call. After hanging up twice on the idiot that was calling me, talking like a child at first, then turning on a stupid song the second time... the third ( Read more... )

So, two days ago I started feeling all crampy and cranky and shit. Shouldn't have felt this way. The monthly reason for bitching just ended seven days ago. But, I was accepting of it. I was thinking maybe it was me and D playing to rough... internal bruising or something. Always a possibility when you're a freak like me. Well, as things ( Read more... )

Things aren't too bad. I don't feel to good tonight. I'm cold, prolly something to do with the draft coming from under the front door next to me. But aside from that, everything is cool. The person I was freaking out over the other night is okay now, I've been okay for two days. They just needed a little while to gather their thoughts. We've ( Read more... )

I don't know that I feel better than I did earlier... just different. I know that I am angry. Seems like I'm angry at everything. I don't want anyone to touch me, I don't really want anyone around but at the same time I don't want to be alone... weird. Doesn't make any sense to me. I just want to rip my fucking hair out, cry and scream and hurt ( Read more... )

I keep swearing to myself that I will actually write/type things in here. It's just not happening though. Its crazy I would rather pick up a stupid book and cramp my hand writing that do it the easy way. I guess maybe the subconcious thing is that I don't really want to say everything that's in my head out in the open. But I neeeeed to start ( Read more... )

Okay, well, I guess I'm starting this crazy thing over AGAIN. I've found that my friends are using them alot Even my dork husband is using one as an excuse to sit infront of this idiot box... again. That a whole other story... I just need something to do I guess. Its coming up on christmas time at work. So I'm sure alot of this thing will turn into ( Read more... )