It was close. I woke up this morning to find that I had been transported into the Shadow Realm. I looked around for an exit and I saw him.

He was walking away. He was leaving me here to die!

"NOT SO FAST, KAIBA!", I screamed!. He whipped around, taken aback that I had caught him red-handed ( Read more... )

I decided I should attempt to appeal to as many people as possible, therefore, I shall attempt to be less random. Though I don't really control what happens in my life ( Read more... )

I went to party with Jesse White in the colon of a whale. The Beach Boys were in there, and I got them to play California girls.

I don't remember what happened after that, but when I woke up I was in Florida and a goat was halfway stuck up my urethra. I think I'll keep it there for the aesthetic value.

So today I was sitting out on my Gary Coleman shaped yacht eating some freedom fries when I see some guy swimming towards my ship. It's Mr. Cooper! So I hanged with him for a while. Fortunately, at the time of his arrival I was throwing a sexy party ( Read more... )

Today I went to Six Flags: Great America where I rode the Raging bull 23 times. They have a short line for people with special passes and then another line for me that goes to my car up front. I spit into the faces of people behind me and then derailed the other cars with my penis. After that I set fire to the cotton candy stall by flexing my bicep ( Read more... )

Today I turned 18 so Pakistan exploded. Happens all the time ( Read more... )

Today was cool because Will Smith came over for a beach party. But the beach wasn't at my house. It was at his. I didn't want to go all the way to his house, so Will Smith just started threatening his house until it moved itself to my house out of fear ( Read more... )

I talked to a discarded hamburger wrapper today. He was doing all this "yo yo" ghetto stuff and I didn't know what to do ( Read more... )