So I'm updating this thing everyday. Maybe it'll be more therapeutic or something. I hope it will be, because I'm feel terrible and I don't know what's wrong. Bleck. I don't have an appetite at all, for anything. All I want to do is sleep, and when I do that, all I want to do is wake up. I feel pretty worthless right now. And I'm afraid, ( Read more... )

They think I don't know, but I hear them. Talking about me as if I wouldn't catch on. Whatever, I should just let them talk. Yes Kimberly and Erika, I'm talking about you. Even though you were joking it still bothered me, I wonder if you could tell? Probably I'm not to good at hiding feelings anymore. I suppose I finally got something I could trust ( Read more... )

Thy name is Failure ( Read more... )

So, I haven't writen in this thing in a long, long time ( Read more... )

In a mesh,
Of bodies entwined togehter,
Rythm and sweat mix
Yet she still stands alone,
Off rythm,
Isolated.

Huddled together,
In the cold,
Sidewalks full of people,
Clasping hands,
Laughing together
The icicles are her only
Friends.

Jeez, somedays you really just want to cry.

So I was eating dinner and I was like, when are we going ot see grandpa ellzey again? And then I realized that the only way I'll see him again is in dreams. I didn't realize I would miss him. I want to go to his grave a put flowers on it soon, because I haven't seen it yet. I hope he's happy where ever he is.

     It's a bit strange, when I go around school, and people say hey and people come up and talk to me. I felt like I didn't have friends or people to talk to, but I noticed today and a few days ago, we got to choose where we wanted to sit and people kept saying sit by me, well three people in English III AP, but then today in Creative writing, ( Read more... )

So I wish the Betty and Justin would just leave me alone. Whenever they are around they tend to make me feel so empty, so hollow. I mean in the classes I have with them they are okay, but at lunch, and outside of school, it's like who is that girl? It's like they don't even know me. But there isn't really anything I can do, but avoid them, and hope ( Read more... )

One day, all I want is to stop hurting, it's not a mental thing or an emotional thing. The past month or so my stomach to my knees, have hurt so bad, it's difficult to go to sleep. I haven't had any of the normal things I've always had for the past few months, I'm scared that it could be something bad. Although it could just be that I'm being ( Read more... )

The perfect phrase for tonight  "Ah, piss"

Not to sure why that is the perfect phrase. Oh wait I do know. My cousin and her partner are fighting about her going to see her mother and everything is going sour up here. My dad kept asking me if I were ready to come home, and I have to say, I am. I just want to go home, but I don't want to abandon ( Read more... )