(no subject)
So here I am again in LJ... I have updates...
I am so much better. I have been for a while. I am doing my own thing, discovering who I am and what I want out of life. I still have a lot of things to discover and I know that it is going to take a while. I started therapy again because I was sinking into a depression I had never felt before. I had been lying to myself and to others about what I wanted. I was conforming to what people wanted so they would like me and that maybe they would want to be with me. I could be the one to change their views on relationships. Yeah that was so wrong and that is how I ended up in Tampa. I have learned some very good lessons from this whole experience. I jumped into the relationship with Denise too quickly because I was afraid I did not she would not want to be with me living in another state.
Lesson #1: Do not rush a relationship. If it is meant to happen it will and you should not over think the situation.
Lesson #2: If the person really cares for you and loves you, they will wait.
Lesson #3: Never ever settle. I want certain things from my partner. I have comprimised somethings just cause I thought they were stupid. But when I did not get these thing I was upset. I want romance, I want someone equally as affectionate as I am, I want someone to make me feel special, I want someone who wants to have sex with me alllll the time. I want someone to take care of and to take care of me. Those are things that will make me happy.
Lesson #4: I want to be in a long lasting relationship. I want to get married. After Jim and I broke up I swore off thinking about a long lasting relationship for fear of being dependent on someone and getting hurt. Hey it is my personality to depend on someone for certain things. This is not going to change.
So those have been somethings going on in my head lately.
Thanks to ebadger for helping me find myself. You have re-opened my heart and mind to think like I used to, before I was jaded. I cannot wait to see you and give you a great big hug! You are awesome!
I am so much better. I have been for a while. I am doing my own thing, discovering who I am and what I want out of life. I still have a lot of things to discover and I know that it is going to take a while. I started therapy again because I was sinking into a depression I had never felt before. I had been lying to myself and to others about what I wanted. I was conforming to what people wanted so they would like me and that maybe they would want to be with me. I could be the one to change their views on relationships. Yeah that was so wrong and that is how I ended up in Tampa. I have learned some very good lessons from this whole experience. I jumped into the relationship with Denise too quickly because I was afraid I did not she would not want to be with me living in another state.
Lesson #1: Do not rush a relationship. If it is meant to happen it will and you should not over think the situation.
Lesson #2: If the person really cares for you and loves you, they will wait.
Lesson #3: Never ever settle. I want certain things from my partner. I have comprimised somethings just cause I thought they were stupid. But when I did not get these thing I was upset. I want romance, I want someone equally as affectionate as I am, I want someone to make me feel special, I want someone who wants to have sex with me alllll the time. I want someone to take care of and to take care of me. Those are things that will make me happy.
Lesson #4: I want to be in a long lasting relationship. I want to get married. After Jim and I broke up I swore off thinking about a long lasting relationship for fear of being dependent on someone and getting hurt. Hey it is my personality to depend on someone for certain things. This is not going to change.
So those have been somethings going on in my head lately.
Thanks to ebadger for helping me find myself. You have re-opened my heart and mind to think like I used to, before I was jaded. I cannot wait to see you and give you a great big hug! You are awesome!