So I had a day off finally!! How nice it is not to work 7 days a week. I made muffins and bought a new screen for the bed room and some shoes and clothes for work ( Read more... )

1 She lives outside the rules and does not seem to care about that fact ( Read more... )

feeling better today mentally and physically. I am trying to decide weather I want to quit one of my jobs and focus more on making stuff. I mean that is what I want to do... I do not know weather I can afford it though. not much else...I am really hungry

I am feeling very unloved right now... last night I got pretty drunk at liams house watching the UFC and devin decided that I was too drunk and dumped the rest of my alcohol (there was only one more drink left). I was hurt that he did not trust me to make up my own mind about weather or not I should have another drink and I was angry that he ( Read more... )

I think that little things bother me more now that I realize that there is no big picture. There is certianly nothing controlling the order of the universe. my actions affect me and maybe a few other people but that is it. no eternity no destiny just simple boring life. karma is more cause and effect than some kind of devine justice. THere is no ( Read more... )

I have calmed down alot since last time I wrote but I am still not over it at all.. Analyzing all the time... I am beginning to feel like I am afraid of living or sucess (I think that is spelt incorrectly) or something. I am scared of changes I never want to do anything I can not take back.. scared of rejection so i never try... I am scared to even ( Read more... )

I know that no one reads this so I can write crazy things and no one will commit me. I have come to a realization that reality is totally unsatisfactory and that is why people create art, stories and such. We know that every thing is meaningless and then we die so we try not to think about it. Nothing excites me anymore. Nothing moves me I simply ( Read more... )

I am finally starting to feel better. I gave in and went to the doctor after I started spitting up blood on monday. I had a fever when i was there and it just got worse after that. today is the first day that I have felt almost normal again. Devin has been at work for the past couple of days but he was home today so we got soup. He has been invited ( Read more... )

My throat is so sore that i can barely talk. this is not cool. I just hope my airway doesn't swell shut or something.

Devin was sick last weekend and all of this week and I have tried to help him and make him better and what does he do?? He has given the cold to me!!! My throat is killing me (partly because I sleep with my mouth open when my nose is completely plugged) and I am stuffed up.... Maybe not just allergies after all. I think that I am going to make my ( Read more... )