its like we fell down the stairs

we fell and tumbled

but there aren't any stairs

this is all in my mind

see, these bumps bruises and bangs

aren't from any fall “we” had

there are no “stairs”

but when your eyes ain’t right

and you only really got one - that only sees through a tiny ass pinhole, um

you bang, bruise and bump

and you do these things all-day-long

( Read more... )

I finally for the first time EVER.

Imagined myself with a seeing eye cane and then felt RELIEF, not embarrassment not shame and it has been 18 years!

Relief from:

- Feeling like I could die at any moment with the limitations of my vision

- Feeling anger from folks when I cut them off or bump into them as I don’t see them in my limited field of vision

- ( Read more... )

Christmas 2009
Melissa put the star on our tree

Christmas 2011
she is dead.

Danny sang
at a house show last night
We all cried through most of his
beautifully sang words.

I kept looking up
as if I was reminding her/them
to look down at us
to protect us.

feels like she/they
never loved me [anyways]
So I've got a mixed up belly
And guts that feel semi- pulled apart
( Read more... )

Too much everything

Too much stress

Too many trips to the Animal ER

Too much cat trouble

Too much got shaved off the sides

It makes us feel raw

Too much got taken away, from her

Too much needs to go back in

But it can’t

Too much time has passed

And it won’t stop

Too much has happened

And it won’t unravel

Too much more to go

And it feels like not enough time

Too ( Read more... )

stream of thoughts three. 2/2/2011

1.

expelling you from me

feels like:

the placenta

leaving the fresh

womb of a new mom

uterus all swollen

new life being born

both very critical

times in mine

and your lives.

2.

i can feel the swell

of pain burning slightly

next to me

grateful this time

it is not a part of me

peeling the layers

is hard and intense

and wont ( Read more... )

1.
For you:
You came to me
Upside down, beautiful, broken, 
yet whole
In this way I'd never seen before
Like you switched out some of your parts - traded them in.
Not necessarily for betters ones
But other ones 
A body-mind upgrade of sorts 
And your fully aware.
But  because this is all so new 
You can remain blind
to such drastic change
But then it's like ( Read more... )

EMDR Therapy - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy.- a couple of weeks into my treatments.
Why: Dissection of childhood trauma.
Diagnosis of Pseudotumor Cerebri due to tetracycline medication side effect (1% percent chance) Pediatrician’s, misdiagnosis lead to severe trauma, completely shattering my optic nerves; no such connection ( Read more... )

Peace Friends -

To Donate on Behalf of Brad, please go here:

http://www.ntafund.org/find-a-patient/profile/index.cfm/patient/AAEFB09E-D077-CB2B-6CBD9BE92E3D2FE9

Brad (21 years old) is now several months into the recovery process

after being seriously injured in a car accident in July,while living

in Hawaii.  He has a broken neck, injured spinal chord ( Read more... )

I'm going to the NYC, the west village for the last weekend in April!!!

Krishna Das 3day workshop and 2 night of kirtan, and so much healing i cant even WAIT!!!!

Last friday night i saw Bhagavan Das, kirtan, amaaaaaaazing.

life is beautiful, grand, and sweet as hell these days!!!!

Prayers of Celebration

May the long time sun
Shine upon you,
All love surround you,
And the pure light within you
Guide your way on.

kundalini yoga - farewell blessing