this is odd for me, but i think for the first time in awhile i am really truly happy. i know i've said it before, but it never really lasted long. and a lot of times, there was still something making me unhappy underneath it all. but recently, i realized that i have every reason in the world to be happy ( Read more... )

i've decided not to post details about the conversation with my mom. it's just too hard right now. there are so many things that i'm feeling and trying to figure out. i need to do that on my own. writing everything down will just get me upset and be an out so i don't have to confront all these things i'm feeling. i'm going to let them bother me ( Read more... )

i talked to my mom last night...

more to come once i've digested the conversation...

so recently i fucked up and said something to a friend that i shouldn't have thinking that said friend already knew what i was talking about... OOPS! oh well, shit happens ( Read more... )

so, i haven't talked to the boy in like a week and a half... not for real anyway. now it's just a hello in passing kinda thing. idk... whatever! i didn't really see it happening anyway... he is still really cute though and i'm definately going to admire that for awhile ( Read more... )

my mother called me at 8:25 this morning. when i answered i said hello three times before going for it and actually saying "mom?" then i heard her crying. so i said, "mommy, is that you?" she cried some more. "mom, i really miss you." more crying. my final attempt: "please say something." about 3 seconds later, she hung up ( Read more... )

i've been thinking about my mom a lot lately. i always think about her, but lately, it's been pretty constant. i miss her so much. i cried in the shower this morning thinking about how long it's been since i spoke to her... since i've seen her. i hate when we aren't talking. i hate that i haven't seen her. and most of all i hate that i am PURPOSELY ( Read more... )

ok so i know i said i didn't want to talk about it... but that's a total lie. i'm too happy not to ( Read more... )

i like this new boy....

but i'm not really ready to talk about it...

just thought i'd make you aware though

i know i've said this before, but i've really got to stop getting myself into situations i don't really belong in. once again, i've found myself torn between two friends who were once in a relationship. i value each of these friendships in different ways and for different reasons. and since they aren't great friendships (meaning i haven't been ( Read more... )