Starting to feel drained. I feel like everyone needs me for something, not just my son & husband but friends, family, & strangers. Instead of putting myself first I feel bad & like I'm being selfish so I put everyone before myself. Sometimes I wish I was back in TN just so I could use the "wish I could be there" excuse... or maybe just to be a ( Read more... )

I have blocked out the best memories I have. I find pieces in the bread crumb trail I left & remember it was an experience, no matter the outcome.

I am a bitch. I have no good reason to be. I feel horrible after being so mean but it's almost like I can't control it. Yet I am somehow engaged to the nicest man I've ever known. Sometimes I daydream ( Read more... )

I love you, and I mean that in the most none loving way possible.

I'm sad but happy at the same time. We've been through so much together since I first met you at Calvary, I hate being an adult because all these milestones keep coming up! I hope I'll be able to see you sometime again and I wish you all the best! Visiting Florida won't be as much fun, I hope it doesn't take you long to find happiness in your new ( Read more... )

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Sometimes I can't believe I have a baby. He's definitely a cool little dude, I love him.

August 7th 12:42pm
8lbs 14oz, 21 inches long


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I go to the beach every day and swim against the current, walk around our subdivision multiple times a night, and just finished cleaning the crap out of our house, like toothbrush to every single tile grout and scrubbing EVERYTHING. This has been the longest wait of my life. When I go out & people come up and say 'When are you due' I say I'm not ( Read more... )

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trying to stay positive. conflict: may have to give birth in a hospital over a birth cener. i need to keep my focus on the outcome that my baby boy will be here soon & how i deliver is not all that matters it is his health. stop telling me your birth stories & that i am crazy for wanting to give birth the way i want. deep breaths.