it amazes me how quickly all of the old feelings that i thought i was done with come back....how completely desperate and alone i can feel for no real reason. I dont think anyone really knows what goes on with me when i get like this. it scares me how strong it is. this used to be like the norm for me but it hasnt been like this for awhile and now ( Read more... )

i feel totally alone here...i feel like there is absolutely nothing to do and no one to be around. i feel totally diconnected to everyone. like there is no one that wants to be with me. i am constantly around people who have another person who wants to be with them...and then theres me...all by myself...and it fucking sucks. it feels like no one ( Read more... )

can i just say how much my english class sucks? my friggen teacher has us have a quiz and a rough draft of a paper due the last day of classes before thanksgiving break...which means i get to wait around for an hour just for that class when i could be home!! i am so tired...i couldnt fall asleep last night either...i have to be out of the dorms by ( Read more... )

ok...my last entry was kind of depressing...i thought id explain myself...i am someone who has a tendency to over react and be extremely dramatic...all of my feelings are extreme...which can make things crazy. what can i say? thats just how i am. i hope that none of my sad or angry entrys upset anyone...its just my way of expressing how i feel when ( Read more... )

i give up ( Read more... )

ok i am really stressed out about school...not my classes right now but future ones...my advisor expects me to take summer courses...theres no way i can. i would have nowhere to live! i feel like theres all this stuff that needs to get done and im not going to be able to do it. its creeping me out. nevermind ive been wicked anxious lately...i was ( Read more... )

it really bothers me when someone doesnt like something you do and tries to make you feel like shit because of it. especially when i didnt do anything wrong. i understand that people can get their feelings hurt but how is it fair to make other people feel like shit because they themselves feel bad. i hate it the most that it affects me so much. why ( Read more... )

can someone please explain to me why everytime i get excited about something it goes wrong? i mean is there some cosmic force that wants to get my hopes up just so they can be crashed and i can feel like shit? someone could explain why it seems like the one thing i want to happen doesnt and ruins everything else. all i want to do is scream or cry ( Read more... )

ok i smoked...and im feeling pretty good except i cant say everything i want to say in here. i am so glad to be back at school and that i have a lot of friends this year..lindsay, becca, stephanie, andrea,julia....i think thats it for now....plus i have tiffany and kate at home. im bored and kind of tired and its only 10:43. i like the show dead ( Read more... )

it still amazes me how alone and scared i can feel sometimes...its like i think ive gotten away from it...gotten away from all those feelings that were there..and then i feel that again...i guess thats just apart of being human..and having feelings..but it scares me..i dont want to go back to where i was...i dont want to go back to being weak i ( Read more... )