life was simpler once ( Read more... )

well apparently im a drummer now.
im not half bad if i do say so myself.
me and the guys at the house have decided to start a band.
im drumming as well as singing a bit.
nobody ever told me that beating on the drums is almost as theraputic as screaming into a microphone.
its good stuff.
me ryan jay and james have been jamming alot.
its fun.

havent been sober in weeks.
fuck it.
i just dont care anymore.
im an alcoholic.
i didnt used to be this way.
i used to feel motivated and ambitious.
i used to mildly care about my health.
i used to feel alive.
finding it so hard to care about anything these days.
everyone tells me i havent hit rockbottom yet.
but how much lower can i get?

you have me
forever and after.
like violence
you kill me
forever and after.

i want to destroy it.
i dont know why.
but i do.
and i could.
but i wont.
im not that evil.

i kill kill kill little girls ( Read more... )

how you find comfort in the places you least expect it.
ive never met her.
we've only talked a handful of times before recently.
and our only real connection initially was mason.
i have to admit when she offered me her advice at first i didnt expect to hear anything helpful.
many people offer "advice".
or their input.
opinions.
most of it isnt helpful.
most ( Read more... )

First with your hands, then with your mouth
A downpour of sweat, damp cotton clouds
I was a fool, you were my friend
We made it happen

You took off your clothes, left on the light
You stood there so brave, you used to be shy
Each feature improved, each movement refined
And eyes like a showroom

Now they're spreading out the blankets on the beach
That ( Read more... )

im bored.
nothing to do.
someone take me on an adventure.
i need something to occupy my stupid mind.
bleh.
someone come hang out with me.
play music maybe?
anything.

bored as hell ( Read more... )