Alex ran up to me and Tim today and cockpunched both of us at the same time.

Later we told Elena and she said, "you have dicks?"

I teach kindergarten in Korea. I can't speak Korean. It's a private academy for parents who want their kids to learn English from an early age. Today I got instructions from my boss to teach the kids a game called too ho. Number six on the instruction packet reads like it was written by a drunken William S. Burroughs:

6. throw the anger flesh, than ( Read more... )

 NARGANRNAGNGANGARG

Raising the steaks.

I like my women like I like my flour. White, pasty, and in bread. 

I want my athletes to be pumped full of steroids like god intended.

The nation of black Israel thinks that Shakespeare and the vikings were black. I think that's an awesome idea.

Drink to get drunk, but don't go gambling with a girl's gravy grotto.

 
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Munching the mucous of melancholy.