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Im so sick of being sad all the time. You'd think after a year I'd be over it. but i still find myself crying over it -
Out of control
I feel like everything is just falling apart and i cant do anything about it. Ive never felt so out of control of my own life as i do right now. This is the worst feeling ever -
I broke his heart
I broke joshs heart the other day. I finally told him the truth, the truth that i really wasnt expecting to get back together ever. He was upset and he tried for an hour to have me not leave so easily but did. I went over there today (x-mas eve) to give him $100 i had of his and his knife. I also wanted to give him his christmas present. I went ( Read more... ) -
So drunk
I got schwasted last night and had a final today, but it was so worth it.
my hand says "check your butt" my butt says some unreadable, and my boobs are signed by catherine and kelly. Last night was awesome. Me and lars couldnt stop talking about our new place, which im really excited about, and i couldnt stop drinking. I was def. too hung over to ( Read more... ) -
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Jackie Clark, Yes jackie herself, was asked to marry someone and said no. It kinda a sad story, but kind of not. -
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BTW i think im going to start this thing again.... i dont know why but i think its a good way to vent right now. Broke up with josh... a year and a half over. I dont feel like the same person, i almost feel like im only half of what ive been for so long. Its not as hard as it could be though. Ive surrounded myself by good friends, and theyre making ( Read more... ) -
Lonely
I didnt think that stupid things could bring me down this quickly. All day ive been perfectly fine. I even went to drop off some stuff at his house and i saw him, but as soon as im alone on my computer and i look at an old photograph from a while back of me and him, i just start crying. I dont know how long i can keep this up. -
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My birthday party is coming up, its going to be pretty frickin sweet. -
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skipped school today, about to go to lunch with josh and all his co-workers. They were all shocked when josh told them i was still in highschool and might not be able to go because of school, but to make it less horrible, he said i was already 19. Buuuut it should be fun im leaving in a couple minutes to head out there, and then im just going to go ( Read more... ) -
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I am gay.
Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay.
Alanna Rules. No question.
But I am sooooo gay.
Love,
Jackie