humor me...

[staleyg]

A Poll:

Has a crush or an innocent brush with the opposite sex helped you to to "refind" the woman you were pre-motherhood? How? Why? Where? When?

Comments

[venalanatomica]

what?
oh
nevermind
that sentence was confusing.

ok so, no.

[mamaste]

see. I think that her whole notion is flawed conceptually. because you can't "refind" that woman. I just read an essay about it that I really enjoyed, somewhere, god, maybe someone else will recognize it, that she thought that, you know, when her kids grew up ... oh! it was one of the girlfriends books -- the chick Vicki whoever, "the girlfriend's guide to preg, etc

[staleyg]

yes!

[esperanzazine]

plus, i think it's minimizing to say that the change in how you view yourself sexually is the way "back" to "who you were"-- the change in my body is the LEAST of the changes since I had kids, and it certainly doesn't make me "refind" myself. That girl is gone, she's never coming back, and you know what? I don't want her to-- I like myself better now.

I've had moments where I realized that maybe I was still attractive to those I was attracted to, but really, it was a ripple in my life, not a big epiphany-moment.

[mamaste]

yes! and yes!!

[baldomom]

Given our exception to the verb "refind," I will state for the record that brushes with a certain member of the opposite sex (since I'm a big old het) have made me feel like getting my swerve on. Which I don't often. Maybe that says more about the duration and nature of my marriage than it does about motherhood.

Come to think of it, I was never really this horny before having a kid. Maybe it says something about nearing middle age.

[baldomom]

Oh, and I'm reading backwards through your entries. The "crush" anthology sounds viable. Though perhaps we should broaden it beyond pre- vs. post-motherhood, make it like "the stages of a woman's life" or something. Sounds like it has Seal Press written all over it.

Here, let me just row your boat. Could you get your hands on some sample essays (1 or 2) and stick them into a proposal? (Maybe you've done this. Like I said, reading backwards.) I'd be happy to point you in the direction of my editor at Seal.

[staleyg]

hey thanky--i think it definitely sounds seal pressy. the whole proposal thing seems kind of daunting to me.

[leakyandsnort]

Um, no, but yesterday my friend's 19 year old stepson was HOT HOT HOT while he was mowing the lawn and I was like, hey, who's the pool boy? is he free?

[loolica]

no. i mean. really. how could it?

a brush?

thirty four seconds in an elevator might lift your spirits but it's not going to change your life. especially not if you then go home to an irate toddler who pitches a fit because some of her noodles are touching her broccoli.

i can only imagine that going back to who you were before your kids were born requires a tremendous amount of denial.

[mamaste]

or! just an excellent sublet! my old ex-con hockey-playing boyfriend is still single!! also, stil drunk!!

[loolica]

hm. parallel existence?

i've refound myself, two afternoons a week?

the rest of the time i'm still unfound?